A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I live in North America but I am from Europe. My partner is also from Europe and lives in North America with me. We have been living here for 2 years now, but we have a recurring arguments about how we should spend our vacation. Being North America, I only have 2 weeks vacation a year. I feel that this time should be used to go to Europe to see my family. I am very close to my family and I miss them a lot. I feel that as my partner has me all the other 50 weeks of the year, my 2 weeks of vacation should be dedicated to my family. However, he is less close to his family and wants to spend his vacation time with me. He is very hurt that I am prioritising my family over him. I feel that I am prioritising him over my family as I spend all of my time with him. Just not vacation time.I have offered to have "long weekend" vacations with him, but he is not happy with this, as he wants our vacation together to be special and a proper get away, which would mean at least a week, probably two weeks together - my whole annual vacation time!!!I've also suggested that if thats how he feels then we should move back to Europe, where we have more vacation and will be closer to both of our families. He doesn't want to move back to Europe though. In fact, I feel like I would like to move back to Europe, maybe not immediately, but perhaps in a couple of years.When we lived in Europe he turned down a "dream job" in Florida because I couldn't stand to live in Florida. Now where we live, we both like it, I just miss my family and certain things about my home country. He feels like, because he has already given up the Florida chance for me he has already done his compromising. What should I do? Never see my family or never go on vacation with my partner?Go one year with my parents and one with him? (Very unfair on my parents, I feel, as they never get to see me)Also, it is difficult for my parents to come here as we have a studio apartment and he works from home, so its very difficult for him to work if we have people to stay. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (15 July 2010):
 If this is like a poll, my vote goes to parents every time. One week with them and one week for you and your partner to visit a typical European tourist trap town would be a fair compromise, no?
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