A
female
age
30-35,
*alinaJane
writes:So here goes, my partner of 18 months says he wants me to take on more of an active role in the bedroom eg initiating sex more often and suggesting things I want him to do. The trouble is, I don't know how. Everytime I think about saying or doing something, it seems silly. I have been in two other relationships where sex was involved but I was always the one to get "told" what to do. I like being submissive in the bedroom and most of the time my fiancé enjoys playing the "dominator" so to speak. I guess I'm just wondering if you all might have a few tips on how I can "step up" for him?Thanks in advance :) Reply to this Question
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female
reader, KalinaJane +, writes (28 September 2011):
KalinaJane is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your feedback :) I do have some very sexy bedroom clothes stashed away from before I was pregnant so I might fish them out and find a babysitter for the night ;)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 September 2011): I have this problem too, being shy about saying things outloud sometimes. It takes practice. My problem is I'm afraid he will laugh at me, so you must be brave to get through it.
One thing I found is a great way to be more aggressive is to buy some lingerie. A sexy see through gown and some high stockings is a really good non-verbal que.
Also don't be afraid to say things while in action. If he's doing something you really enjoy say so while he's doing it. Then later you can say, "remember when you did that to me? I want you to do it again."
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A
male
reader, lukefortender  +, writes (27 September 2011):
Think about! Why don't you play teacher and student? Fantasize about you telling what to do, which part of your body can he touch? Can he do a oral sex in you? What about 69?
Use your imagination girl, you can do it!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 September 2011):
 Don't do anything that you are not comfortable with. You say the things that you have thought of seem silly to you, but I bet he would love them, they just seem silly to you because you have no confidence in yourself. Why not dress up in something sexy that makes you feel good about yourself and surprise him when he walks in the door. Maybe give him a little lap dance. Just do something that you feel comfortable and go with the flow.
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