A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:During my holiday from England, I met this gay boy on the gay beach with his friends. He chatted me up and constantly complimented me on my appearance and made it quite obvious he wanted to have some fun with me. I wasn't too keen at first but fell for his charms and by the time we got to his we had some fun. As soon as he came, he completely changed his behaviour and checked his phone constantly and told me he had to go now, he seemed kind of dismissive and reluctant to kind of instigate conversation, and offered to drop me off at my hostel. I kind of believed something important had come up but now I feel like he just kind of used me for sex. Before he had dropped me off, he had arranged to meet up in the evening to go to the party, this he cancelled because he had to work till late. So I sent him a text saying it would be great to hang out some time, he seemed equally keen and said to come and say hi during his pub shift, I couldnt go that day but agreed to meet him the next night. I went in and he was very busy but didnt seem to make much time for me and just seemed kind of preoccupied. I cant see why you would drag someone to a paid entry club where you work in if your not even willing to make five minutes to speak. Now it seems I wont be hearing from him again and to him it was casual fun, but nothing more. Although I'm hurt, how can I reduce the chances of this happening? It seems some individuals will say anything to get sex, and see no problem with creating the impression they would want a relationship if it gets them sex in the long term. I ask because this has happened a few times now and I'm not the kind of person to pretend to be head over heels in love with someone if a short term encounter is all I'm looking for. There is something kind of deceptive about making out you're really into someone when you're actually not, made even worse by the fact neither of us had anything to drink and were stone cold sober.
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Boonridge McPhalify +, writes (7 December 2008):
 maybe he is just looking for fun with tourists and collects sexual experiences like pokemon cards and then tries to get them to the club he works at to increase profits and keep him in work.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (7 December 2008):
I'm sorry this happened to you hun.
The way you stop it from happening is to not have sex with someone until you have made sure they care about you and want a relationship.
Holidays are especially dangerous time as everyone will be more willing to have casual sex.
Don't give yourself away too soon.
Good Luck!! xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Teacake  +, writes (7 December 2008):
 Not to be insensitive about this, but at your age I would assume you realize that the world of male homosexuality centers around casual encounters. Very few gay men I know are seeking relationships until they are in their 40s. Men rarely seek a committed relationship with male or female, unless they are head over heels in love.
You engaged in a one night stand and I'm a bit surprised you are surprised it was a one night stand... especially in Europe where the entire continent has a reputation for being comfortable with casual sex! LOL This site has been a real eye opener.
Like the others have said, if you want a relationship, don't start things off with a one night stand. Perhaps you are very naive and innocent a young man and really had no idea about one night stands? Also, don't leave it up to the other person to decide if they want a relationship with you. Try to be as clear as you can when you meet someone you like that you are interested in a relationship and have the interest to get to know them before having sex.
Good luck! If this sounded mean, that is not my intention.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2008): Use this experience as a learning tool (pardon the pun)
Don't jump into bed with someone you just met. If a guy shows interest, get to know him...if he is truly interested he will take the time to get to know you. Build a relationship before sex!
Things like this happen to women all the time. It's painful, but we get over it and learn from our mistakes!
Welcome to Our World!
Be Cautious In The Future!
...............................
|
