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*oxy Brown
writes:Mod's note: this is the original post http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-with-an-alcoholic-who-goes-back-and.htmlThis is the person who has the alcoholic mate who goes back and forth between me and his ex. All the answers were very helpful,I think I already knew the answers.But he has been very helpful to me. He alone helped me move back to my home town,where we live.I was in hopes by doing that we would become closer,but things remain the same. My question today isall week he has not called me,this morning he called to ask how I was doing.He talked just like nothing has happen.I didn't fuss I listen.I was glad to hear his voice.I would like to remain friends with him,maybe phone buddies. I was use to him calling me and telling me goodnite before I went to sleep at night. Does This sound too pitiful? Should I wait awhile to talk with him? Should I just stop answering his phone calls all together? He is good at not answering or returning my phone calls. Speak to me people I'm tried of wearing this donce hat!!! Thank you for your answers! They help a lot,sometimes you can't talk to friends or family.
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (28 July 2013):
You need to move on. An alcoholic needs to make a commitment to himself. I would give him the space to realize that he is having an unhealthy relationship with you and others.
I'm sorry you feel lonely but it is not up to him to make you feel better. You need to work on yourself by getting out more, join a group of interest, go to the gym, take up a hobby.
You seem like a lovely person. Who wouldn't want to be your friend. Just get out there!
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (28 July 2013):
 Sounds like he needs a little space. If he doesnt initiate anything like he usually does then that prob means he doesnt wanna be bothered. Wait 2-4 days n then contact him with a brief msg like havent heard from u past few days how r u? Nothing pushy but still shows u care. Alcoholics can only help themselves they can b inspired but their decisions cannot be controlled. They suffer from a condition. Good luck.
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