A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am an alcoholic/addict who has been married for 9 years. I currently have 1 year clean and sober. I can't seem to enjoy my family. I am miserable once I walk through the door. Why?????
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male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 October 2010):
 You haven't given us very much to go on, so this is guesswork. You were in the active phase of your addiction during the first eight years of your married life. That likely interfered with your relationships with your family. Perhaps you weren't as actively involved with them; you probably had a very different way of interacting with them. And they probably developed their own way of interacting with you, perhaps keeping some distance to try to control the impact your addictions were having on them.
The new, sober, you may be a different person than they have known. A stranger, to some extent. That would put you in a rebuilding phase, something that's probably not altogether comfortable. If you're in a 12-step program, you'll likely be able to find some guidance from those who have been there before you. And your family might benefit from Al-Anon, to help them learn what's been going on with you and to find ways to support you in your sobriety.
You're on the road to a better place. With time and support, your home can once again become a place of comfort and joy. But the fallout from addiction is lasting, and it will require effort to mend the family.
A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (6 October 2010):
 I would explore this with a therapist first, and then a marriage counsellor with your wife to sort this all out.
Sounds like something that needs a LOT of time, not pat answers, but considering you are only just 1 year clean and sober, you should take everything slowly. Try not to throw the baby out with the bathwater at this early stage of your sobriety. Seek help!
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