A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for two years. Lately, we've been constantly fighting. We've been fighting about every week for the whole entire summer. The fights usually start off because I do something he doesn't like. Some examples of our arguments are: one time I playfully pinched him on the arm and he got mad and stopped talking to me for most part of the day. One of the issues I have with him is the fact that every time we have an argument or he gets mad about something he completely shuts me down. We live 30 minutes away form each other so that's a long drive for me to get to his house. It's very frustrating when I get to his apartment and the whole day is ruined because he got mad at something stupid. One time I playfully threw him off the bed and he fell hard, I delayed apologizing because i didn't know he was actually hurt and he got mad and I had to go back to my place (whole day ruined, waste of gas and time). One of my biggest issues is the fact that we don't do anything 'fun' anymore. We pretty much go to the movies once every 2-3 months other then that, we hang out at his place or go shopping or something like that. I've tried on numerous accounts to get him to do something fun like going for a swim or playing squash or anything really. He either says he doesn't have enough energy or enough money. We're both students so the money issue is understandable but the lack of efforts he puts on us spending good quality time together is frustrating. Every time I bring up the issue, it creates a fight. Basically, he says he's not a 'toy' and if I want to go do those type of activities I should do it with e.i my sisters. Before anyone says maybe he's just a homebody- not necessarily true. He's willing to do those types of activities (let's say bowling), IF other people join us. He just doesn't think it's any fun doing things of that nature just the two of us. Mind you, in the first year and a half of our relationship we did plenty of activities together. We spent days rummaging our brains to find new and exciting things to do- he wanted to share every experience with me and so did I. There have been recent talks about a possible break or even a break up... I need someone's point of you. What do you think the problem is? Is there any hope? P.S. We both love each other very much. Last weekend he introduced me to his whole family at a wedding. We just can't get along for more than 1 week at a time! Help!
View related questions:
a break, money, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe've talking many times about his habit of shutting me out when he's upset. How can I get him to open up or get over it quickly?
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2014): There is immaturity on both sides here. On your side- quit monkeying around. You know physical play fighting is not his thing so why do you do it?
For his part, he needs to quit being passive aggressive and communicate when he is unhappy. Sulking is for 5 year old and it doesn't fix the problem.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! Yes this helps!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you! Yes this helps!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2014): For starters maybe you guys need space. If space isn't the issue take the time to plan stuff out to kinda show him how to put thought into dates. Guys get comfortable after some time in a relationship and for some reason feel no need to "wine and dine" their woman and as a grown man it's unacceptable honestly. Only reason he gets a pass is because you love him and you enjoy his company. Don't settle for his apt bc that's how it'll always be. As far as it being intimate, start with sexual stuff to spark his interest with one on one time and gradually lead up to other common interests. Stay away from just going over there to hang though or honestly just become unavailable!! Sometimes they need to miss you to value your presence! Hope this helps
...............................
|
