A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I've been seeing this guy on and off for almost 2years we have not advanced in our relationship yet he tells me he loves me but makes no effort. is it too late to ask him to just be friends? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2016): A couple have to be on the same page in a relationship from the beginning of the commitment. Too often two people agree to a commitment, but one is expecting it to progress to marriage. The other just wants a long-term boyfriend or girlfriend. So the one looking towards marriage agrees to be committed anyway, hoping the other will come around. Who comes up disappointed when nothing changes as time passes?
Why bother offering him your friendship? Simply tell him that you were hoping things to progress in the relationship; and it hasn't. Then end it.
Friends? Seriously?!!
As if you'll be okay with him dating other females? Watching him be happier with someone else?
Maybe you think he'd be happy knowing you're sleeping with some other guy? No, it's best to end it amicably and move on. Offering friendship when you really should just breakup will only lead to drama. Then at some point you'll decide to change your mind, if you notice he's enjoying his freedom more than you can be comfortable with.
Think it over. Tell him how you feel. Then make a decision whether you can actually handle just being his friend. If you're expecting more, doesn't really give me the impression that being friends is enough even for you.
Another question. How will you feel if he's quick to agree to just friendship?
A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (20 September 2016):
 Of course it's not too late. It's not like you have to be like "well, since it's been two years, I guess I have to stay with him forever whether I like it or not." If it hasn't progressed, it's time to move on, as this isn't meant to be. Nothing remotely wrong or unfair there.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 September 2016):
 Is it too late? Maybe, but if he doesn't want to invest in the relationship there is no point in continuing. So why not ask if he will consider JUST being friends.
Now he might tell you no, and that just means there is NO reason to keep him around in your life.
He might say yes, and then you two will have to figure out a way to transition from a couple to friends. Honestly, though, I don't think it's realistic to go from relationship to friendship at the drop of a hat. And I don't think a guy who isn't willing to invest in a relationship will be much of a friend either.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (19 September 2016):
 Any person who has an inkling of interest will show interest and make some effort. Sounds like you wasted two years. Work on yourself and focus on self-love. Move on and start focusing on yourself instead =)
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (19 September 2016):
 You haven't advanced because you've been on and off. When you're on and off, people often still say we've been together for two years (for example), but a month or so is missing, when you add up the off days/weeks.
It's never too late to break up, but he may not want to be friends. So, ask him, but don't expect it to be a yes. A break up is necessary, though, by the sounds of it.
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