A
female
age
36-40,
*uvessa
writes:I started working with this guy twelve months ago (although he has since left the company two months ago) and we hit it off straight away. Im 23, he's 41 but we have the same interests and the same wicked sense of humour. Even after he left working with us we have stayed in touch almost constantly either by text, xbox live message or me nipping round to his house. Two weeks ago he suddenly stopped talking to me, not replying to any messages i sent, and he has also stopped playing online at night which is very unlike him. I get the feeling there is something seriously wrong but no matter what i try he wont speak to me or even reply to my messages. How can i get across to him that i want to know if it is me that has upset him and if so how do i fix it, or find out what is truly wrong with him so i can help? I had a very rough year last year and he helped me through it, i want him to know that im there for him if he needs me but i dont know how to tell him without freaking him out! Any and all help would be greatly appreciated :)
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male
reader, Sensitive Dude  +, writes (6 June 2008):
Well just another update I know its been two months now but I have actually moved on and have not even bothered to find out. I have come to the reality that some people just are better off leaving them alone. I know there are many women that would love to truly have an honest relationship and do not play games. I should not waste my time and thoughts on someone who does not want to talk to me. I know you said never give up but I guess I do not want to flirt with being a stalker either. I know it took me about a couple of weeks to put what she did out of my mind and I know sometimes I might think about it doesnt bother me anymore. I appreciate your advice and everything you have said and responded with. Thank you for your words because I have learned how to stay at a distance when dealing with folks until both parties truly commit. I will check back on this site to see if you have responded to this and to see if he has done that to you again. You take care and do what you need to do to protect your emotions trust me I know how it can kill your mind at times.
A
female
reader, duvessa +, writes (29 April 2008):
duvessa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI know im obviously not the best person to be dishing out advice to this, as you can see!The only thing i can suggest is to leave her alone for a short while, i know how frustrating it feels but it seems to work. My friend actually did this again to me a few weeks ago, but by that time i'd learnt to keep my distance. I've heard relationships are like a tango - one moves forward the other moves back. Try what i did the second time - hold back for a little while and her curiousity will compell her to return. keep one thing in mind though - if you really do like this girl, which it appears to me you do - NEVER GIVE UP!!Keep in touch, i'd like to hear what happens :)Duvessa x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2008): Just an update if anyone cares. I had to use my friend's phone to text her and she responded "who is this?" and called 7 times. I text her from my phone letting her know that was from me and she did not have to play with me. She never responded back but she knows I know now. I will never understand women. I supported whatever she needed and tried to help her. I think I just need to give up.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Well thank you for the information. I have tried to ask her what's wrong and see if I can help. As normal, I get nothing and the really bad part is we planned to see each other and I just bought a plane ticket to go see her the day before she stop talking to me. The wondering is killing me every minute of the day. Oh well I guess I just have to suck it up and deal with it.
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A
female
reader, duvessa +, writes (27 April 2008):
duvessa is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey everyone, thanks for the replies so far.
We're back to normal now, i found out what the problem had been - his uncle had passed away and it had upset him. The reason he avoided me was because of the way we used to talk to each other, and he knew that if i said anything even slightly out of turn he would bite my head off and he didnt want to upset me, in his words he was "protecting me from himself". bless :)
To the male reader who answered me today, dont be afraid to ask outright what the problem is, thats what i had to do in the end - i was afraid to ring him in case i got yelled at but it just got too unbearable. Calmly ask her if theres anything wrong and if you can help. Im sure youll be fine :)
To the female reader who thinks he's paedophilic - a) learn to spell; and b) how many couples do you know with a larger age difference, cos i know a lot!! We get along just fine as we are, a lot of people have said we go very well together and are surprised when we have told them its not actually me he's married to!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2008): Wow. This same thing happened to me but the female was the one who stopped talking to me. I see it has been awhile since you posted this but I am hoping you respond and give an update on what happend. I was talking to this female and we would talk for hours on the phone. We always had fun and just was attracted to each other's personalities right away. Well all of a sudden she stop talking to me and I have texted and called her many times. Again no response and then I even try to wait for her to come online and nothing. I would really like to know is it me? or what did I do wrong?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2008): It's maybe because he has realiased how paedophelic he is being, since he is 41 and you are 23
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 You could pay him a visit to find out what is happening over there. Maybe, he just wanted to be left alone . He could be facing some problems and do not want to involve you.This are just my speculations only.
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