A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I come across two types of men in my dating life - those who quickly think I'm the answer to make their lives perfect and so within a couple of weeks they're saying they love me, talking about moving in together soon and starting conversations about kids and marriage after a month or two. Then there's the other type I come across, who run a mile at the first sign of me showing interest in them! Some of them will happily chase me for a year or more but as soon as I start making an effort, even to suggest we do something together, they start to back off.I know the whole male population can't be divided into these groups, so I think there must be something I'm doing - but what?! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 February 2010):
 I think girls learn to become players too. It's only that when we go back and forth between extremes we find out the best way to a relationship is moderation.
A
male
reader, Griffo +, writes (13 February 2010):
 Plexi's almost got it but it goes a little deeper than that and the thing about the nice guy is the wrong way around. It's the bad guy that's been hert in the past thus is why he is bad.
Firstly the nice guy knows how to behave with a lady he knows what she wants the nice guy then breaks into two "general" categories. The ones that are nice with no experience and the one who are nice with e perienced relationships. The experienced ones are the ones who always win even beating the bad guy. The ones thY are too nice never get laid and are very likley, they have a similar experience as the bad boy does but in the opposite end of the spectrum.
Now the bad guy, there is one genuinly bad that is someone who is a criminal, thief, violent drug taking type then Thera the bad guy who thinks he's all those things but instead he plays mind games. He's the one who will use you and abuse your dignity if the relTionshipa goes sour.
But in general all guys are the same they just breL down onto those two, then four subcategories. There are probaby more subcTegories but these are the general ones.
But the bad guys who play mind games and the nice guy who is alone are very similar. As I said just opposite ends of the spectrum. Thes guys are like this becuse once in their past they were genuinly in love probably at a young age as a teenager and they fell in love only to be very hurt because the girl was not ready like he was. When this happens it seems to change men, they turn to sex and or lonlyness to protect themselves from being hurt again.
So the guy I would recomend for you is the one who is nice, confident, takes his time with you, enjoys a chase, and likes surprise from you. ie: you surprise visit him occasionally or at a party you always sit near him but when your away sort of ignore him so he chases you a little. But occasionally if he says something nice thank him for those words to keep hom interested in you. He will like the chase. The bad guy will give up one you go for him and make you chase him for a while but you see that's not good because it's a mind game he's playing.
I hope you find this nice, confident, strong hearted guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2010): Guys are always scared of commitment , I rarely show interst back , I make them chase me and make them work hard for any " Side benefits " ...lol
Those guys that talk marriage in the first two weeks scare the hell out of me also .
Nothing works better than making them chase , just flirt and be nice if you are intersted , they will keep chasing you ..then decide " Well , just maybe you might qualify boy " if you play your cards correctly ..
Good luck !
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A
female
reader, Plexi +, writes (13 February 2010):
 You are absolutely correct...............................there are more then 2 types of men in the world..those are just the type of guys that YOU are attracting. the first type ( the nice guy..........who unfortunately also sounds desperately in a rush)is attracted to you because you are probably a nice girl and they have been burned so many times by biatches that when they find a girl like you they forget that courting comes before babies and marriage and they just pounce on you. the second type( the jackass) likes you until he has you and then loses interest when you try to meet him half way because he was just after the chase and when you are no longer a chase for hi because you start showing interest then he goes for someone that can offer him the chase. Next time you meet type one and you like him as a person but you realize you are not crazy about him, just tell him you want to go slowly and get to know each other as friends first( give him time to grow on you but don't tell him this:). next time you meet type 2, ask yourself what it is about him that makes you want to meet him half way and if it's a valid reason then just have a detached talk with him and tell him..........look i am starting to feel something between us but i think we need to slow down so i can get to know you better( you can't make good decisions when your hormones are doing the thinking for you)
good luck hun..................you'll meet your mr. right don't you worry:)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 February 2010): It could be that you're quite passive or play hard to get, so men chase you. When one person is unreactive, the other person tends to go into chasing mode.
If you approach things equally, then (some) men will get to know you without feeling they have to chase you.
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