A
female
age
41-50,
*fogalilly
writes:I have posted on this site before about a man who I had a one night stand with.. Well, it happened again... I like to go out on Friday nights, I usually go by myself because I always see people that I know. Well, I saw M again, it had been a month or so since I last saw him, it was about 1:30ish and he asked me to give him a ride home, I like this guy, I really do. I think that I knew what I was getting myself into, when I went into his apartment with him. He picks at me and I pick right back at him, but he kept asking me what I thought about him, and questions about my life. But I am not going to just brush it off this time, I am going to go talk to him about whatever this thing is between us. Once is okay, but twice its time to have a talk. I like this guy, he gives me hell and it drives me crazy but I like it, I just don't want him to be cruel and hurt me, that is why I would want him to say what he wants first before I would say what I want. I have no idea how to approach him on this, because its been a long time since I have been in a relationship, I usually just have flings. He is one man, that has really gotten under my skin.
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female
reader, ffogalilly +, writes (31 August 2009):
ffogalilly is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYeah you're probably right, it is just sex. We don't communicate at all, when I was with him, I never told him what I wanted, he never told me what he wanted. He has never told me that he likes me either, but I have never said it back. What happened between us was not intercourse, but intimate because he could not "get it up" both times. I know he is using me but I just am one of those people that wants to hear it instead of playing games. Communication was never a strong point with me. Thank you for all the suggestions =)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): He doesn't see you as anything more than sex, because otherwise in that month he would have called you, Tried to arrange a date etc.The fact that he then slept with you again just means that he was up for sex again.Don't embarrass yourself by confronting him with 'what's going on between the two of you' because he has already shown you in his actions so far. The fact that you would even have to 'ask' him what is happened means that, in his eyes, nothing is happening. Because when a guy like a girl, he makes it obvious. and worst case senario, he tells you that he does really like you, just to keep you on the scene, for when he's next in the mood.and don't be fooled into thinking he is interested in your life by asking you questions, he's just making conversation and if he was really interested, he would ask you out during the day and get to know you properly. Not through pillow talk.You have said that you really like him, so just cut him out of your life before you get hurt.(remember men are wired up differently to women and can separate emotion from sex.)Just so you understand why i'm being so harsh is i don't want you making the same mistake i've made.I've only just got over a guy that i fell head over heels for. But he used me for sex. and i was blind to his intentions. And he didnt even come clean when i confronted him, he told me everything i wanted to hear to keep me around. But at the end of the day, i should have just read the signs all along. For a start, he only wanted to see me in the evening. I just hope you don't end up a booty call like i was.Good luck
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A
male
reader, Sound advice  +, writes (31 August 2009):
I have to agree with Rhythm, as a male, any girl who is keen on the 1st night doesn't usually rate to highly in my books. I prefer a chase, and not a quick chase either. If like someone get to know them, its worth it in the long run.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): He is one man that has gotten into you twice without so much as a phone call. The fact that it happened twice means nothing more than he knew you were a sure thing.
I hate to be so harsh, but men do not elevate girls they use for just sex to girlfriend/relationship material. He may ask you questions about yourself as a way of making you feel comfortable enough to have sex with him and that is all.
You don't have to ask him what this is, it is nothing more than what it is two nasties bumping in the night.
If you really want to see how he feels about you, give him your phone number, tell him you don't do texts or emails and let's see if he calls you on a Monday night for a date on Friday, or if he calls you at 11:00 PM for a hook up in 30 minutes, my guess is it will be the later.
Guys aren't hard to figure out, all you have to do is pay attention to what they do.
Good Luck.
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