A
male
age
41-50,
*ficanhelpifnothelpme
writes:ok were to start me and my parnter have been together for 5 years on and off. since the birth of my daughther shes been jealous because i love her more than my patner. but the true matter is i didnt love my partner that much to start of with she was a re-bound girl i just met and never got around to dumping so anyways 5 years i love her for the kids but when my daughter was born i thought hard about were we was going she wanted marriage and house. but i dont want a marriage i just wanted a family. be both can't agree on anything so we split up. and split up and split up like 50 times till i said " right thats it " no more. and everything was going good for once then i started talking to a old girlfriend from when i was a kid i've not seen her in 10 years just moved back from were ever she was to very close to me i agreed to meet her but anyways backed of. till the last time and i messeged her up asking if she wanted to meet i went and she wasn't there. couple of days later i texted her asking her why she stood me up she said i called her a slag and some other nasty things. so i told her it was all lies. and then someone hacked my facebook page so i made a new one and i added this girl agreed 1 last meet but then i was looking over my messages and again someone hacked it saying " i dony like u i think your a slag " i knew it was my partner. i've today had 2 kids with my parnter. and today were together trying one last go for our's and the kids sakewhat advice would u give me ?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (4 November 2011):
 I agree with the first Anon.
You need to set new guilde lines as co-parents and non partners. A ring on the finger doesn't fix a broken relationship.
Why keep trying when it obviously doesn't work? And for crying out loud, STOP having unprotected sex if the woman doesn't mean anything to you.
I would focus on working out how much money to give her to support the children and how to split the visitations.
Sometimes, even with kids involved, a realtionship just doesn't work. No matter how you beat a dead horse, it's still dead.
A
female
reader, baby-blue-eyes +, writes (4 November 2011):
i can only talk from my friends experience here but he split up with his partner only to get back together it didnt work out and they split up again and now hes with someone else and the happiest ive ever see him. being together will not neccessarily make your kids happy especially if they see you fighting. what will make them happy is somethngs thats consistnent you and your ex partners on/off relationship will be affecting them a huge amount and im sure theyd prefer it if both their parents were happy and apart
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): i can understand 1 kid being a mistake but 2?
LoveGirl
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2011): you've already tried like, 50 times. You don't need to try again, you know how it's going to turn out. How is it going to be different from the last 50 times? you're just wasting everyone's time including your kids', obstructing the path of progress. You need to face reality and make the hard decision that you've been too lazy or complacent to make before, which is that you need to establish a new relationship as co-parents/non-partners. Your gf wants marriage and house even though you don't love her and were just with her as a rebound and laziness. This is her own problem to sort out. She needs to know that getting married doesn't make your relationship better, it's putting the cart before the horse. What she wants is security and a normal relationship situation. But she'll never get that from you because you don't actually want to be with her so it's best for her to move on from you, except for sharing child care duties, and find someone else to be her life partner.maybe you should read some books or articles on how to be divorced for step by step information on how you disengage from each other but remain in the kids' lives.
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