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female
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anonymous
writes: I’ve been Best friends with my ex roommate for about 5 yrs and approx 3 yrs ago while we were living together, we ended up having sex a couple times. We decided that we didn’t want to risk our friendship so we stopped and remained friends. It’s been very obvious since, that our feelings are more than friends, in fact on a couple occasions over the last few years, we have even mentioned the word love and on 2 occasions in the last couple years I have cheated on my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years with him. My boyfriend and I have lived together for almost a year now, he has provided a home for my son and I and has even taken over the role of ‘Dad’, but there’s a down side too: our sex almost completely sucks and lasts about a minute, he has anger problems, he works sometimes 90 hours a week, Oh yeah, did I mention that he’s a mama’s boy!Well, This ‘friend’ of mine is suppose to be a mutual friend of both me and my boyfriend but for the last week my ‘friend’ and I have been having sex again, a lot. There is a lot of denial between my ‘friend’ and I and how we feel about each other, yet we both get jealous at each other's partners and I know he feels uncomfortable sometimes around my boyfriend. We have talked about the possibility of starting a relationship but his idea of a relationship isn’t the kind I would want to be in (for me or my son) if I would even consider leaving my boyfriend for him. I guess I feel like I’m stuck between a good guy 'my boyfriend' that would never do anything like this to me, and a bad guy ‘my extremely irresistible friend’. I don’t know what to do because I love my boyfriend (you're probably like “yeah right” but I really do) and I feel sick to my stomach, terrible, but I think a lot about my friend and every time I’m with him, I can’t resist him and the sex with him is like no other. I can’t picture not being with my boyfriend and I don’t want to lose my best friend. What is my problem?? Why can’t I be satisfied with just my boyfriend? Please Help Me!!
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reader, pops +, writes (24 November 2005):
Why don't you get to work with educating your bf about how to be a better lover. There are books, videos, and other instructional aids to help him control his climax. He is going to have to deal with the job stress, as its ruining the rest of his life. You are supposed to work so that you can enjoy the time away from work, too. Its nice to have a job you enjoy doing, but he's not living with his mother any more. Sounds like he wants a mama substitute, to wash clean and cook for him, but he doesn't think as much of you to learn how to be a good lover. Teach him. The thing with the other guy is not going to work out, by your own admission, even if the sex is great. So, stop it. Put that energy into the relationship with your bf. Ask him to work less at work, and more on you.
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