A
female
age
26-29,
*adaq
writes:ok....so i am i guess your could say in love(just for the sake of simple words) with two guys. one guy i have dated about three or four times but i have broken up with him after a week or so because my best friend likes him. so i dated one guy 1 three times and guy twice, my best freind likes guy1 and guy 1 is best friends with guy2. i know u might think im messing with there feelings but im not i love these guys, they are sweet and caring, but i don't know what to do. i dont want to hurt them. recently, my best friend started to date guy1 because i had told him it was best to get over me and move on....i started to date guy2 again because i figured we could last and i reapy like him. but guy 1 started to text me recentley because we are on thanksgiving break...he broke up with my best friend because he claims to love me so while i am datin guy2 i am also datin guy1. i know i sound horrible but i dont want to cheat but i dont know how to tell guy 1 that i cant date him because my bff still likes him n i reeeely want to stay with guy2. school starts back up on monday so i would appreciate anwsers by sunday pleese. how do i tell guy1 that icant be with him..without him hating me because id hate to lose him as a friend
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (24 November 2012):
 Glad to hear that everything got sorted out, good luck!
A
female
reader, jadaq +, writes (24 November 2012):
jadaq is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks and i went ahead and fixed it now im only with guy2 and guy1 just said that its fine but that he just needs time before he can start hangin around me again but that he still wants to be freinds. thanks for your help.....i think im just seriously paranoid
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (24 November 2012):
Does guy 1 knows that you are dating guy 2 at the same time ? . Because in this case you can tell him that you relized how wrong it is what you have being doing and are not going to continue - but you hope you can stay friends anyway.
Or, actually, you may want to keep it short, simple and to the point.
That you are very sorry, but you have realized that for several reason dating him ( guy 1 ) was and would be a mistake, and, as much as you like him, you can't see this working between you and you need to stop. And if he wants you'd like to still be friends.
Something like that.
Look, don't worry so much. You have the right to take your decisions and follow through- you don't have to date anyguy just because HE wants to-what matters is what YOU want, for which, being just a few dates and no major committment, you don't have to apologize.
The important is that you choose to date ONE guy at the time ( guy 1 or guy 2, it's up to you, I have no preferences,lol ) because as you say stringing them both along is disloyal and you would not like if some guy did the same to you, would you ?
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A
female
reader, jadaq +, writes (24 November 2012):
jadaq is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks but should i do this through text because i dont want guy2 to find out i cheated on him(he is sensitive and he might take me as unloyal, which i am not, this is the first time i have ever done this) and i wont see guy1 till school starts back up on monday, but that is also when i see guy2 again. so, if i do it in text, how exactly should i say it??
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (23 November 2012):
Why should he hate you ? if he is not a complete idiot he won't- he will understand that you have two excellent reasons for not dating him : 1 ) you don't want to hurt your best friend's feelings 2 ) you already have a bf, and, well, you temporary forgot about that, but eventually you heard the call of your conscience :) and are not going to cheat on guy 2 any more.
He should respect you more for that !- although, perhaps he is not a type to bother too much with conscience and doing the right thing, since he was hitting on you, when you were his best friend's gf, if I got that right .
As for "losing him as a friend ", if you mean that after you tell him the truth, he probably won't stay around to stroke your ego with texts and flirting and showering you with attention, you are quite right, he'd be stupid if he did. But that's not what " friendship " is about, and if you love guy 2 , you'll be content to receive this type of attentions from him only.
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