A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, i recently broke up with my ex-girlfriend 3 months ago. And i REALLY need help with this situation.During our relationship we had our ups and downs but it was mainly because of this groups of "lesbian girls" That would start stuff and try to ruin our relationship. Prior to us being together she was part of this "group" it was a few months after her father passed away that she "joined" them. There all a lot younger she is 19 now and they are about 16. They used to cut themselves (my ex didnt) and smoked pot, did other drugs, drank almost everyday and some of them dont go to school or are in alternative. She went about a year doing these things with them and then she met me. It changed everything she said she knew she wanted to get away but didnt know how and she was so happy she found me. Everything was going good until they contact her again she changed her number once but once they got it she never bothered to change it. The thing is is that everyone around town refers to them as physcotic, crazy, low lifes. So everything is going good and then sometimes during our relationship she would "hang out" with them for a week ignore me and then come back to me crying. she did this about twice and i took her back. This was my first time with a girl we got together when i was 17 no were both 19 years old and recently broke up.In this group there was one strait girl (mandy)that she didnt talk to for a longggg time and then she came back into town so my ex started hanging out with her cause they were friends. Now a month after we break up she is in a relationship with mandy. I know they never had anything before i just know so thats out of the picture. So now she is with mandy(the supposed strait one) and is now friends with this group of "lesbian girls" who do pills, smoke, drink, and dont go to school or are not very smart.The thing is that the girl mandy is 17 and my ex is 19 going to be 20. But immaturity doesnt seem to be a factor to her. Ive talked to some people about and they say they dont understand why she would want to talk to any of them there dumb, physcotic, drugies. The only thing that devestates me the most is within these 3 months she has completely changed as a person, i guess i should have seem the red flags when she would ignore me for a week. But now that were not in a relationship i see them clearly, she used to tell me shes no better than them when i told her she was or she would say "im just like them". But i've gotten to know her for 2 years we shared a lot of deep things and deep down she really is not she 1. lost her father 2. doesnt have a very good home life 3.her sister is into drugs and selling pills 4. her mom is never around to help her or talk to.Unlike any of them who are just fuck ups she did VERY well in school got all A's was a highly looked at individual and got a scholarship to play soccer at college. She went to college while with me and decided to come back before the semesters even started she just said she hated it. And her mom let her come back. Prior to when we were together she wanted out of that "group" wanted nothing to do with them and didnt. And we were so happy, now, even when i try to be friends she is a TOTALLY different person to me she says i need to stop bringing up how we were together and that i dont talk to her as a friend i always bring my emotions into it and she doesnt want that. When we were together she was INLOVE with me nvr wanted to let me go, everything. And was always emotional when it came to me. about 3 weeks ago she got into a fist fight with her sister which she NEVER did while we were together.The girl she is with now (mandy) is kind of dumb likes to drink, and is kind of a pot head. The main thing is that my ex has changed so much these last 3 months i dont even recognize her as a friend. This girl is the total opposite of me we had intelligent conversations we rarely had to drink or smoke to be happy and we did normal things relationships did. And its like now since we have broken up she has settled for less and is somehow back into this life style again. I know she doesnt want it, and i know she is not happy but now its like there is no telling her anything when we were in a relationship she would listen to me and tell me i was right, but now i cant even talk to her without her being like "you dont know what your talking about" or "i know what im doing and im happy" i know all of these are false. I know the only thing i can do is live my own life cuz if someone doesnt want to change for themselves they wont at all. Im just wondering what is the physchology of a person who is:A) gay/dyke - i was the girl in the relationship she looks like a boyB) has violence in the home/drugsC) is doing drugs themselves or drinkingTHANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE HELP!
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broke up, drugs, ex girlfriend, my ex, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (17 January 2010):
 I can understand your pain, because once I was in your situation. Difference is only that I have loss my adopted son, I was loss person. They live in gang, busy in plotting, and hunting, somehow they get support for victim's family. It was her mom that support that gang. Event of the occasion are the same, only details differ.
I was much shocked for son, and it take 6 month psychiatrist's treatment to recover my self from shock. So, be firm and forget that is wortghy to forget.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, but im just wondering what kind of mind set does someone like this have? Shes moved on very quickly from our relationship into this new one and i have a feeling it will burn just as quickly as it started
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta +, writes (16 January 2010):
A) gay/dyke - i was the girl in the relationship she looks like a boy
B) has violence in the home/drugs
C) is doing drugs themselves or drinking
The observations you quote above is true and real. Your friend is loss case. It cannot recover. I have my own experience so I am telling you with confidence.
You live your life with confidence, and forget the past.
BEST LUCK
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