A
male
age
36-40,
*at1313
writes:I'm 25 years old and I'm french, my ex girlfriend is 26 and she is korean. We spent 1 year and a half together, but only 8 months really together.We met in nyc, we wre both studying english. She didn't want to date me first because she said that she didn't want to fall in love with me, I said let's just give a shot we'll see where does it lead. She finally agreed.We spent 4 wonderful months we really fell in love with each others. In september i had to go back to france and I said that it could work. She came to France a month and a half later for 2 weeks. When i picked her up i told my friend she is the one.After 2 awesome weeks in France she went back to NYC and I told her that I'll be coming for Xmas and the new year.I came it was really great too. Then I left again (go back to school)I told her i'll be in Korea this summer for you. Are you going to wait for me? She said yes.We used to see each other very often on SKype and msn she changed her class to the morning to deal with the jet lag. After 6 months I pushed her a bit too much to talk to me and i used to say that she had changed because she went to her own country. SHe broke up saying that I know what my life must be my parents want me to get married before 29 we'll never be together since you don't speak korean and I don't speak french... I said ok but in memories of our story can you find an appartment for me in Korea since I already bought the flight ticket. She said why do you still wanna come I said I've got friends over there i wanna see them and I can't refund my ticket.She said ok. We kept in touch she said that she still had feelings for me i said then what let's be together. We made up on SKype. But at that time she used to see her ex english teacher who moved to Korea to teach english, she used to see him very often ( she told me that she would have dated him if she didn't have me) and he had a big crush on my ex but when he said let's be together she said no, my future is with someone else namely me.She picked me up at the airport with her mom we were stressed out because we hadn't seen each other for 8 months. We hugged each other and 15 minutes later she looked at me and said I love you so much and kissed me.We spent 2 amazing months in Korea even though we argued sometimes regarding a korean girl that i had a crush on long time ago.Anyway i met her father ate with her family I was the first man to get into her house even if she Had 2 long term relationship before me 2 and 3 years.We went to some ring stores talked about getting married even if We both knew that it would be hard that i had to learn korean and find a job here cause her father would have never let her move to France and she wouldn't have stood the life here.We used to say that we were perfect together the best couple ever...I left Korea and she started to work the next day, everything was fine. But Her bestfriend who used to date an american guy broke up with him cause she coudln't see her future with him.And around December i felt her changed a bit and the beginning of January I got an email regarding an internship in Korea. I told her I' think i'm losing you she said yes i said why?Then we talked and she said that my father would have never agreed that i stay with you my life will be fine only when i turn 36 years old. She said you are so far, it's not gonna work i know what my life must be...At that time i din't know but i've realised later that she was seeing a guy pretty often cause she probably bored she told me that he never gave up blabla.°I said come on i'll be there soon for the interview she said no don't come you are goint to kill me. I said it's such a great opportunity for me. I tryied to open her eyes that she loves me and we are meant to be togther blabla. I said i'll give you sometime to think about it.A week later i tried to touch her saying that I would do anything for her she said I know you are the best for me but it's too hard I've done my best. So I said Is it over after a while on the phone she said yes.Then I let it go and 2 weeks later I see on msn I...AM...FOOLISH i spent a week to think about it and called her tried to get her back she said i'm so worried about making the wrong decision but it has to be like this I said do you see someone she said no.On the valentine's day i got crazy and called her she didn't pick up and texted me don't call me now i said why are you on a date she said yes if you want to know, I said I gotta talk to you she said I'll call you when i get home.2 hours later she called me and i said who is this guy she said one of my friend's coworker, I said did you sleep with him she said yes I said how was it she said soso. she said I still have feelings for you i know you are the best i think i'm still in love with you and she cried then i Hung up told her that i'll be in Korea in 2 weeks she said even if i really wanna see you i'll hold my self back. That time I didn't believe that she had slept with him so a week later I called her to know she said yes i did sorry if it hurts but I want youto forget me I said what did you think when you did it and why she said I wanted to get over you and i thought i'll never be with you forever.I went to korea i texted her I'm here if you think we are meant together just come otherwise don't, don't reply just show up or not.SHe came an hour later, I told her i thought you would never come and looking at your face you didn't come here to take me back so i wished her a happylife and left then she called me out asked what i was doing here i said it's a great job opportunity and I want you back but you already know what i feel and i'm tired of fighting. So i left again when i turned around she was crying i came back, she said It's not because of you i had a really bad day at work. Then we talked i said do you love me she said I don't know I said does your boyfriend know about me she said yes I told him tonight he was really shocked. I asked her he would have gotten you if was there 3 months ago she said no i said do you love him she said It might be love. I said then why, she said i'm losing my english my father wouldn't have wanted and it's just an internship and you are too far you left me too much it's your fault... I left saying that we may run into each other a day but i don't wanna hear anything from you anymore. SHe said I understand then we said byebye...and we were both smilingThe night I called her to say forget what i said we used to get along very well let's be friends she said you are so cool.BUt the days later i missed her so much cause all the memories i have a bout Seoul it was with her. I texted her i miss you no reply the next day itexted her I wanna see you again no reply and then i texted her I flew 10000km to get here you must really not care about me she didn't reply and i deleted her numberI came back to france i didn't get the internship.I sent her back an album that she had made for me cause it was too painful.She was really mad cause her mother saw it and she hadn't told her that she had broken up with me.She talked to me on msn and said you shouldn't have done this blabla. I said sorry but i don't have your office address anymore then i cheered her up a bit she told me that she was sorry for not having taken care of me in seoul i said i understand then she said when you left I cried a lot and when i received the album i also cried. I asked her do you love me she said I don't want to answer why because you are going to hurt me again if you say no and giving me some hope if you say yes she said that's right. I said I'm not giving up on you sangmi i'll show you that i'm the guy for you she didn't say anything just thanks for your warm words and i'll talk to you again. Why she didn't say no let it go it's over for good there is no way you get me back???Now it's been a month and i don'thave any news i think she doesn't log in on msn except on off line maybe neither skype.I wrote an email today explaining what i feel blablaWhat i would like to know is i would have been to korea if she was still with me I know i'll never get her back now, I'm really scared about Korea cause whenever i hear about korea in the news or whatever it reminds me her. So I would like to go to korea to make other memories and get over her but i'm also really really scared about running into her and her new boyfriend maybe that would kill me but I think I gotta go through this to get over her. I can't also think that i'll never see her again and she used to say that if it's our destiny to be together we will, and i believe it like a fool. How can I get her back from France? I love her so much she represents everything to me, I can't get her out of my mind.Is it a good idea to go to Korea to learn this language (even if i know that it would help me only if i stay in Korea and i can deal with the culture, and being far away from my own land) and look for a job over there knowing that i've always been attracted by this country that i have few friends over there too? But also knowing that it won't be same without her.I'm sure she still loves me she told me she wanted to call me so much when she broke up but I also know that she will never listen her heart over her mind. i'm certain I love her from all my heart what can I do?SHe had 3 long terms realtionship already is she going to marry this guy becsue he is handsome he's got a job a car and he is korean?? Is it possible to love 4 people so much like this. How many love do we have in life?? Do I have to give myself a shot in Korea to get over here and having no regrets if I come back to France because I cant deal with the life in Korea or should I stay in France to forget even if I'll probably never do it.
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male
reader, mat1313 +, writes (16 April 2010):
mat1313 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYes i've been really nice to her and i told her that i accept the fact that even if she marries someone else than me i would be hâppy for her cause she was mine for a while and now i know that i gotta move on but it's hard though whatever i told her i'll change myself into gold in order that she loves me again so this what i'm gonna do for myself and ven if she doesn't come back the she didn't deserve me and i'll find much better than her
thank you.
A
male
reader, mat1313 +, writes (15 April 2010):
mat1313 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer but I don't want to let her go since we shared so much and i just think the distance killed us. We spent 8 months without seeing each other and when we finally got back together we were much more in love than we used to be. She told me she wanted an easy life however she said that her life would be wonderful with me.I met her father we took some pictures together and I'm french my family is very confortable there is no reason not to be with me except the distance the language and the job. But everybody can learn a language, Job is not a problem since I graduated in international trade and I'll be speaking 3 languages, and the distance won't be a problem anymore.I don't know she is saying crazy stuff like my father would have never agreed but she said that if I had stayied in Korea we would still be together and we already spoke about getting married she used to say that if I marry you my life would be so easy cause I won't have to take care of your family, you can cook blabla... I don't know but I love her so much
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