A
male
age
41-50,
*ied_trying
writes:My question to all of you is how do I get out of my relationship?History: me and my girlfriend have been dating for going on two years now, we dated in high school and now in college. the problems started over a year ago when we first went to college. She flipped on me, she wouldnt give me room to have friends or be alone as like in high school.So in response I gradually shifted my attentions else where until things came to very dramatic terms and i almost went to jail. Luckily I got off with community service and broke up with her. In response to her actions I tried to hang out with my guy friends and put it behind me.. But she basically chased me down, to the point that I got back in a relationship with her because I felt sorry for her and I had no one else to hang around with.Well every thing seemed to go fine until a couple months later when she did the same thing of flipping out on me and not giving me much room to breathe, because of this I resorted to ignoring her... Her response was talk to other guys right in front of me and make me think she was cheating on me. I broke it off because of how angry I was and so heartbroken.Then a month later we wound up getting back together because she roped me in to it. The worst part was, I knew I didnt want to go back with her and this whole time shes been doing things behind my back and I have never once criticized her or even thought that she was cheating.Yet she continues even to this day to make me feel guilty for hanging out with other people or being alone and not with her. She also accuses me of cheating practically any time i dont answer her call or wake up a few minutes later then I am suppose to.But the mother of all things happened less then a month ago... me, her, her friends, and my friends went to a bar... She always wants me to hang with her friends but this time we had a run in with the cops and her or her friends stuck up for me, but my friends are the only ones who did. In my mind I see it as she picks her friends so why should I date her if this is what happens? Well now im in a moral delima of keep her, or keep my friends and family who have still to this day hung with me through thick and then.So my question to you is how do i not only get out of this relationship, but get away so that she never can contact me again? Please help!
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): Be direct with her and tell her its not working out. You dont need to drag on this needless relationship with such a scheming woman. And for God's sake dont let her manipulate you into getting beck. Take a stand and stick to it. Have a last talk with her, change your number, no calls, messages, mails, and stop all interactions with her friends as well. Dont feel sorry for this woman. If she acts all crazy and stalker-ish, tell her that you would get a restraining order against her. She's been with you for a long time, and she knows no other man would tolerate her as much as you have. She might not want to let go that easy. But please be firm.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2010): There is no relationship left...so I am very glad you are trying to get out of it. But, no matter what happens, no matter how she begs etc, you CANNOT let her rope you in again, convince you to waste anymore of your time with her! She is literally acting like a leech on your life, only causing more harm and unhappiness in your life. Why do you want that??
Start by telling her, firmly and seriously, without backing down, that you want to end it, once and for all, and you do not want to make contact ever again.
then change your numbers, anything that she has to contact you,delete your accounts that she can track you down with, or change the addresses, anything. Stop her being able to get hold of you again, and then truly move on with your life. It will be hard, especially for her, but you both can move on, you NEED to move on.
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A
female
reader, Llamainyourpants  +, writes (19 September 2010):
Easy , Tell her you dont want anything to do with her , and that maybe she needs to think about herself a bit and realize its not your fault and you dont need her making you feel guilty . Its NOT your fault , and you shouldn't make yourself miserable over one girl . If she doesn't leave you alone get the police to talk to her , if it gets worse , file for a restraining order . It sucks but works .
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A
female
reader, Sweetie12 +, writes (19 September 2010):
 To me it sounds like you really need to get out of this relationship.
It's not healthy to be in a relationship like this.
You sound unhappy and it also sounds like your making yourself stay in this relationship. Your family should always be number one if they treat you right, same goes with the friends then girlfriend comes.
In this you need to make sure to fallow your heart not your head.
That is my advice. Good luck!
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