A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Ive been with my girlfriend now for 2.5 years and 9 months ago we started trying for a baby. Since then the sexual side of the relationship has gone downhill for me totally.Once she has ovulated, i can forget sex, as she is worried about 'unsticking a baby' even though theres no evidence to suggest a risk. When i said that it wasnt a risk she said i was being insensitive. At any time of the month i can completely forget getting oral whatsoever!. This had gradually started to die down anyway from once or twice a week to once or twice a month.. but now its simply never. I should add i always give oral and take the time to make sure she orgasms.Yet when it comes to ovulation time, im expected to perform at the drop of a hat 2 x a day for her 5 fertile days.. i even have to do it in a 'set way' (bring her close to orgasm, then sex, then her orgasm straight after as its considered good for fertility.This is destroying my libido.So.. could do with opinions on a few things.1) Am i being insensitive by saying no sex after ovulation should be fine?2) Would other guys find all this a turn off? It makes me feel like a sperm donor.3) Oral sex, i know some women dont like it overly much.. but isnt it reasonable to get the odd BJ now and again??. It seems women do this lots early on, then once secure in the relationship... just let it die off.Thanks
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female
reader, kalykush  +, writes (16 November 2010):
 although she is trying to concieve...she is going about it the wrong way and this in my own opinion tends to break couples up. creating a life isnt supposed to be stressful or like a second job. you should be having fun while creating this precious life.
yes its frustrating when you dont get pregnant after months of trying but the more stress you add the less likely you are to concieve ... why not lay off the baby making for a month and then reapproach the following month.
tell miss lady that you are excited to start a family with her but all the stress she is putting on herself isnt healthy for her or for you OR the soon to be child.
and no you arent being selffish or inconsiderate... its her.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (16 November 2010):
 From a woman's perspective, trying to conceive is a nightmare! We're so obsessed with wanting a child and everything including timing, sex has to be absolutely perfect in order to get what we want. She's got tunnel vision and is losing site of your feelings as well. Every baby myth is true unless we disprove it. I'd have a chat with her, do keep in mind she's going through the stresses of trying to conceive so her emotions are all over the place. Tell her gently, that you're excited about trying to conceive but it's turning into a job for you, sex isn't as fun as it used to be. Suggest that you guys add the passion back into your sex life, that's all you're asking for which isn't much at all. Ten to one she's so blindsided by the baby making that she doesn't realize her actions are affecting you negatively.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 November 2010): What happened to love in all this? You are being used and she is exceedingly selfish and inconsiderate towards your needs.
Perhaps you should reconsider your relationship?
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