A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:While dating and having much difficulty landing a real relationship, I've noticed that many women avoid getting into a serious relationship with a guy who never had a girlfriend before. Why is that? I don't want to lie because I am very honest, but I've found that women take me a lot more seriously if I say I've been in a 1 or 2 year long relationship as opposed to when I tell the truth My longest "relationship" had only been 1 monthDo women think "there must be something wrong with him? I don't think anything is wrong with me, I just haven't met someone who is willing to commit to me, yet. By the way I am not shallow, I can count on one hand how many I've rejected, but if I counted how many times I've been rejected I'd run out of fingers and toes,What is it about "experience" that makes a man more appealing?
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female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 By your age, it is a little odd that you haven't had a woman in your life for more than a month. That does send out the wrong kind of signal to a woman who might be interested in you otherwise. Okay so you like to be honest, but in this case I wouldn't play that card anymore. When most women find out you've never had a g/f by now, they will think there is something weird about you. You could get labeled very fast. Stop being so completely honest. Be alittle more vague if it happens to come up in conversation. If it doesn't come up, by all means, don't bring it up. Let her ask a few questions. Don't volunteer too much even when you answer her questions. A little mystery goes along ways and when a girl is curious about you, she'll stay more interested. I can definately think of one relationship where honesty worked against the guy, because it made him seem like a "simpleton". Women want a guy who has had experiences in life, they know how to do a few things she cannot do; they may have traveled places, or done things in life that make their stories more interesting than discussing their former girlfriends. Good luck.
A
male
reader, human_male  +, writes (15 October 2012):
 Yes they think there's something wrong with you. But it may be the sort of girls you're going for. I'm sure there are less superficial girls out there who wouldn't care and would just love to get attention from a decent guy, despite his lack of experience.
It's good that you don't want to lie about it (getting women may be MUCH easier if we do but it's not worth losing our self respect over), but try putting a different spin on it, like "I haven't dated much in the past because I really felt like I needed to work on myself... I needed time for me."
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2012): Men are not the only ones liable to hold a person's past against them.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (14 October 2012):
 It's the way you say it. If you say "I haven't done a lot of dating. Haven't met the right one yet." It's better than saying "the longest relationship I've had is one month." because it makes women think that you can't commit. They won't think for you, they only look at the most obvious possibility of why that is. I don't think there is anything wrong with you. Women expect men to take the lead in the relationship. Men make things happen. In nature that's true but with so many options today not only choice of mate but the delay of marriage it's hard for men to find the right one. Experienced men seem more appealing because they are more confident, they would know what to do in each stage of the relationship instead of waiting for signs to progress. The good thing about you is that you won't use women for sex. That thing is not appeal, it's a sense of security. When women look at mate, appeal comes first, other things later.
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