A
male
age
41-50,
*id-.-bi)
writes:I'm having trouble with my relationship. we hopped into a love relationship but are laking the friendship. she thinks friends and lovers are not the same. We both have abandonment issues and improper upbringing....(bad parents)....I really need advice and help Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2009): A friend and a lover are not the same.. however i do believe that there is friendship in love.
What is a friend to you? To me, she is someone who i can confide in, trust, talk to with ease, have fun with, turn to.
And a lover? to me, someone to confide in, trust, talk to with ease, have fun with, turn to, sacrifice for, set aside conditions for, remove all strings for, know on a sexual basis, hide nothing from and vice versa, be failthful to, and so on and so forth.
You two can toy around with definitions of love and friendship all you want and not agree on anything. What needs to be agreed on, is the qualities that a lover has and the bounderies that they share.
And friendship is nothign without trust, and neither is love. Sitting around thinking the other will leave will get you about an inch into the future. If you've both had trouble with your upbringing, then this is where you should be confiding in each other and growing together.. not apart.
Gosh i really hope this made at least a little bit of sense.
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