A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, The nature of this post is dealing with work relationships rather than personal relationships. I've been at my company 5+ years. I recently achieved a significant award and recognition. I'm a field employee as opposed to internal management. Returning this year in Jan afters the hols, I started working with a new person who became very political with me, and it felt like it went beyond work and became personal. They have been going out of their way to sabotage my reputation without having even had a chance to work with me yet. They're not just a difficult person with me, a lot of people have commented. However as mentioned, it felt to me it went beyond a working style clash and into harassment. I've kept a log of everything and kept my direct manager informed, who has kept his manager informed. I guess my problem is that although this has been discussed between managers, the result appears to be, 'we understand' but we will not change anything 'yet'. I have suffered a lot of mental exhaustion and anxiety throughout this period, although remained calm and professional at work.The performance of the team and customer has suffered as well. Although I have had specific -ve feedback about this person from the customer, and shared it with my manager, it doesn't seem to be taken into consideration. I've now extracted myself from the situation and have fortunately been able to get myself focussed on something else which luckily does not involve this person. However it is taking a considerable amount of time to personally recover my motivation levels, my personal happiness, my energy and effort levels. As well as damage control on all the fires that have been created.I'm just so baffled as to how companies allow these elephants in the room be able to continue their rampage. I mentioned the award at the beginning, because this let me know that the organisation values me highly, and without that I would seriously be questioning why I bother to work for a company that lets people behave in such a way with apparently no warning about behaviour.I went to a doctors recently who said it would be a good idea to take a week of to rest and recover, which I would do if I wasn't so behind with my workload, to continue to be successful I need a plan in place, taking a week or two off right now would mean I've made it to March without doing anything significant except battle and damage limitation! I'm exhausted and confused. It's really been a burden to my husband at home too, he's very supportive, but every other night, I'm irritable, emotional, tired, snappy. just not mentally available. I'm also studying a masters on top of all of this. I considered telling HR, and have let my manager know this, but I worry this will take it all to another level and a lot more time from everyone, and I feel like I will loose the battle as management will likely not change their stance. Any ideas on how to recover myself, my reputation, get back on track to my normal happy life as per before Jan.
View related questions:
at work, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2020): Thankyou honey pie! an interesting story & perspective! It's definitely an experience. I'm going to look up the cancel culture effect :-)
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (27 February 2020):
 I would consider two things here, 1. is that THEY actually talk to this person and "suggest" that the work place is not the place for political debate and 2. that they take a better look at the overall "health" of the team. If they have a GOOD team they need to consider this person is being disruptive.
My husband works in a pretty (or used to be) male dominated work place, there wasn't much political debate going on, but plenty of banter. They then hired a woman who is VERY political and very into everyone thinking like she does - her office is well, FULL of what'd call propaganda. However, people there just said, ok, do you... Those who disagreed openly with her (which was always it seems debates started by her and NOT about work) she have found ways to fire them. Some who have been there 10+ years. BECAUSE they didn't agree with her. She is VERY hostile to anyone who doesn't want to "drink her cool-aid".
She had tried many times to get my husband fired too, because he doesn't "do what she tells him" even though she has NOTHING to do with his job. She is NOT his superior in ANY way, she just doesn't like him. I'm guess because he just don't want to play her games.
I know it stresses him out (not that he worries about getting fired) but the overall harassment is annoying him, and bothering him.
HR IS dealing with it, but of course since Hubby is friends with the HR lady, the other woman is now also trying to get HER fired...
Some people are simply nuts. In my husband's case the woman in question has a pretty solid contract, and she knows the law well enough to not totally overstep so firing HER is not going to happen (which is a shame as she can't do her job, she has gotten some of the better workers fired and other decent ones have left because of her. SHE is creating a hostile work environment but is savvy enough to know they can't fire her. HR is working on it, but there are laws to be followed.
Sometimes common sense just doesn't comply with the law.
It's NOT that my husband wants her fired. All he wants is for her to LEAVE him alone. She can ignore him, not talk to him and he would be a happy camper. She knows this so she is positively aggressive in trying to debate him. Not just have a conversation, like normal people do with co-workers but for him to actually debate her.
But that is all besides the point.
I would TAKE it to HR and talking to a lawyer might also be a consideration. This person is trying to use some kind of "cancel-culture" effect on you, hoping she/he can damage your reputation and get YOU fired. Not because you don't do your job, or your work is sub-par but because you don't WANT to engage in politic at work. Which is so sick.
And lastly, If you can't take a week or two off... Make it a long week end (take off Fri and Mon) and RELAX that weekend. I think sometimes a little distance can help. And during this long weekend, NO talking about work.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2020): I'm going through a similar thing, except the bully is the managing director... the other directors know exactly what is going on but are too weak to deal with it. Ultimately I am powerless in this situation and my only choice now is to start looking for another job. About a third of the employees in my company have left in the last year as well... it says a lot.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2020): Thanks so much, it's really encouraging to hear the consensus is to keep standing my ground. I think because it has impacted every other area of my life, and personal health, it's just not good enough. I give this company 110% everyday.
Theres a lot of 'one needs to be more resilient' which I understand, but this wasn't about resilience, it was about the right and wrong way to treat people, even if you disagree with each other.
I haven't gone to HR yet, as I've moved away from having to work from the person daily, but I never know when I need to cross paths again. I'm going to talk once more to my manager and director this week to re-affirm my thoughts.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (24 February 2020):
 OP, you've already been given some direction on how to proceed, so I'll just add this.
Most people are sheep and will defer to anyone they think is in control, to avoid conflict. This is why all the notable tyrants in history have risen to power. Not because everyone agreed with them.
Continue to accumulate evidence that comes your way, and consider speaking to a lawyer-privately. Say not a word about that to anyone, not even those you trust the most (at work).
All things pass, the good and the bad. This will not last forever. Countless people before you have endured similar and worse and come on top on the other side. It's exhausting, and painful, but you'll be wiser and stronger for it, and as a result in a better position to deal with the likes of this bully.
Have faith.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): OP, I strongly agree with Wise Owl and Code Warrior! You are a good and valuable employee, and you are faced with trying to do a good job, in a hostile workplace. I would lawyer up, and I would then take these issues to Human Resources. If you are already stressed, you may as well be on offense! You are wise to be documenting every event that is out of line, at the hands of the offender! To permit these low and mid level managers to just sit on their hands, at the expense of your health, psyche, marriage, work, and reputation is just not acceptable, for you! Put out feelers, to other companies, in your industry and keep your ear close to the ground to listen for any opportunity. As I said, you are a good and valuable employee, and if the present employer does not protect you from hostilities, then there are other companies that will see your value and treat you accordingly, with proper respect and dignity! I pray, for your sake, that HR will remedy things, in your favor! Stay strong OP and Best Wishes to You!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): If you happen to notice hostility, or even a hint of retaliation coming your way from management, seek legal advice. Lawyer-up, if it comes down to you getting boot; instead of the culprit behind the whole mess. If getting a transfer or relocation is feasible, consider it. Start looking around for a new job anyway; always have a Plan-B,C, and D.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2020): You've gone to managers, and have gotten no results. Time to take it to HR, but continue logging and keeping journal of your experiences. Do not leave journals or logs in your desk, or on the premises. Take them home with you. Keep them in your briefcase, or on your laptop. Never email or use company equipment to report complaints; they will only delete them to protect themselves.
If they're covering for him or her, time to justify it. You may as well take it to another level; if you're losing your edge, and your work is suffering. Not to mention your overall morale. I don't know about the UK, but what you're describing is a hostile work-environment. It's against labor laws; but people feel too intimidated to pursue their rights. Companies hope you'll just go-away, or tolerate it; so they won't have to deal with it. Even if they do recognize you as a valued-employee. They fear legal-liability more!!!
Companies are often slow about dealing with cases of harassment, or alleged hostile work-environment issues. It's a liability, and they go into denial-mode; or pretend they are dealing with it, when they're not. They'll just sit on it, as long as they can.
Well, now it's time to switch into survival-mode. Take it to HR!!!
...............................
|
