A
female
age
,
*ibby
writes: i met my husband 11 years ago after we both had very bad marriages,we first became best friends and soul mates,we still are.i had 3 children i brought to the picture and he has been a wonderful father to them ,the youngest one ,now in the army feels he's best friend.since the beginning his parents have been opposed to our realationship,they see me as woman 9 years older and not able to have more children ,but used up and not able to give them grand children.my mother in law,who called my father in law and made up geat big lies about me and fueled fire of hate against me is now passed...i took care of her in my home till she passed.his father married to someone else 5 years ago.has married ,i call her a gold digger and has furthered the witch hunt against me,we don't talk,i avoid her,but when she does speak to me,its always without her husbands knowledge and i'm sure she has said or twisted any and all conversation...she has 2 girls and has tried to cut my husband out of all wills,and inhertitance,,my husband does'nt care he just wants a relationship with his dad.his dad is not geting any younger and he is afraid that his fathers time will be up soon and the relationship he wanted will never happen.i'm sure the mother in law is using me as the pawn into which he holds back his relationship from his son....our last conversation was this.. she calls and it is quite early for California time so i pick up...she the asks me what was in a letter,my husband wrote his dad,i told her that was between them not me nor her unless they wanted to share..she then proceeded to tell me that his father was so upset about my husbands choice of a wife as he would have wanted his son to marry a young blonde that could produce grandchildren instead of an old whore like me and he had given one home to her daughter and the other one was to go to the other and her grandchild was going to get a new car at 16 and his only son would get nothing because of me and she wishes i was around her so she could kick my ass...I could only respond by asking her what drugs was she on and hang up. I don't know what to do..I want my husband to stick up for me,but he says its useless she'll get caught and on that day he will say something...should i write the dad a letter and tell him to put a muzzle on his dramatic gold diggin pit bull
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (18 August 2011):
DO not share anything more other than the most simple responses. Your Mother in Law is a bully.
How are the kids? Fine, thanks for asking.
How is your husband? Fine, thanks for asking.
How is work/the car/the home...fine, thanks for asking. Avoid details, avoid conflict.
Understand that there are really unhappy and will say anything they want to about you. You have no control over it. Smile and live your life well anyway.
Let your husband live his own relationship with his Father.
If your mother in law is pestering YOU for information, you did the right thing by saying it was personal. Her comment was childish because she did not get what she wanted.
Now that you know how nasty she is, get call waiting so you can ignore her phone calls.
You have already spoken to your husband about it. He is focusing on the relationship with his Father.
I agree that he SHOULD be speaking to his Step Mother and telling her that her calling you names is unacceptable and to leave you alone. That may not happen in this lifetime. Maybe your husband can not bring himself to step in there bc he is trying to connect with his Father.
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