A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now (we've lived together since december). The problem is our already dwindling sex life. I was quite shy due to problems in previous relationhips when I entered this one, and took a while to get comfortable with letting him see me naked, getting into positions that show a lot of my body, and so on. He has always pushed me to get more comfortable, be more adventurous, be the one to start things, and not be afraid to be loud, which I have all been able to do and has helped our sex life a lot. However a month or two ago he complained that we always seem to do the same thing over and over and need to spice it up, and that once again I need to initiate sex as well. Well, I've been doing everything he has asked -- all the oral techniques, tying him up (when it has always been a bigger fantasy for me to be tied up..) found new positions, wore sexy clothing... and yet he hasn't done anything I asked. And lately it seems like I'm always the one who starts things, and he always goofs off during foreplay and even during sex so it's hard for me to really get into it anymore. I want to somehow bring this up but he's always upset that I can't orgasm because of his size (completely not true) so any complaint would go directly into him thinking that instead of listening to the real problem. I want intense sex, and I want my wishes to be respected as much as his are, but have never been good with confronting people about problems. Help please?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 October 2010):
 Ok am afraid there is no other way to solve this than to tell him. Dont confront him as such maybe the next time you both have sex you start things off and tell him exactly what you want him to do to you, if he doesnt do this then you need to sit down and tell him that you do everything he asks and you feel it should be returned, tell him you enjoy sex the way it is at the moment but you want to try some of your ideas as well as his.
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