A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend has gone traveling for 6 weeks to central America.We have been seeing each other for 4 months in what has been a whirlwind romance, we have both declared our love and said that we would be faithful. All was well sending emails, short almost daily and then about eight days in she started sending single joint emails to her family and me, she told me to forget about her for a bit in her last persdonal email. She hit cuba, no internet access and after not hearing from her for 10 days and lots of emails from me, she sent just one joint email again saying that she was ok and would be in touch by email in another week. These emails are non-personal and she has admitted that she hasnt read any of the mail in her in box.Next week she is meeting her ex and traveling with him for two weeks through mexico, is she trying to cool things between us? How hard can it be to read an email from me and repond personally?Facts: 1When she first stopped emailing me personally she had internet in her hostel- being lazy?2 Severe lack of internet access in cuba so couldnt for ten days,3 The day she emailed she had been on a bus for 24 hours the day previously,4 She appears to be treating everyone equally, i.e just one email to all they are always short.5 Her ex still loves her and we nearly split over it,she will be meeting him soon and included his name in the latest joint email list,but this trip was planned before I met her.....So I m not a priority at all - even though she said she loved me 3 weeks ago. Im not needy at all but, Im wondering if she has cheated or is about to, or wants to dump me and is giving a big hint - now for the twist. My girlfriend has Bi Polar, so it's not easy to read the social queues!!! Am I being selfish expecting apersonal email from her?Going crazy trying to work it out, even stopped bombarding her in box with emails. All view points welcome....
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Ok thank you all we split when she got back:(
A
female
reader, Nik9  +, writes (29 August 2011):
Well I personally would have emailed you back by now. I'm the kind of girl who would NEVER make my boyfriend wait more than a few days to get a personal email from me saying "I love you and miss you". Or a phone call.Although she is probably busy with all the traveling and site-seeing, she should be putting aside a few minutes, at least, for you each week if not every other day. But this is just me. She might not think it's that big of a deal. In her head, maybe she's not realizing how much you miss her. If I were you I'd just try to deal with it, wait it out, and then see how things are when she returns.Don't drive yourself crazy and let your imagination of what could be happening get to you. There's always the possibility but if you jump to conclusions and allow yourself to get angry at her she might just think you're too paranoid and dump you(but I don't think you're being paranoid and know how you feel!). Try not to think about it. And always remember, if you get fed up with having to wait, you can always dump her and move on :)
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (29 August 2011):
 One more thing..........do not try and analize every detail of her trip/actions. For every point you make to justify your thoughts and fears , there is an opposite point that is just as possible. If you break down every fear you have and read into your thoughts/imagination you will beco,e resentful and scared. The reality is, you'll really ever only know as much as she tells you. That is reality and we can't change that. It's called trust and everyone deserves itn until the break it.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (29 August 2011):
Well there isn't much that can be done at this point. I know what your up against and your thoughs are painting all kinds of scenarios that make you feel helpless and threatened. The only thing you can do is let the chips fall where they may. If you bobmbard her with questions you'll push her away and she'll get defensive and tell you little. This will feed the fire and make you suspicious about things that might never have happened. At this point you're imagining all the potential things that could happen. Quit torturing youreslf and accept that it is out of your hands. Even when she returns, she is her own person and can do as she pleases. All you can do is your best to be a desirable partner. All we can do in relationships is try to provide and create an environment that makesa strong relationship. That's where it ends. All we can control is what we contribute. Just remember that it doesn't make you a fool to be trusting. We're supposed to be that way. All we can ever do is hope the person who receives the benefits of our contribution respects and appreciates it. You can't control how people think. I think in this case you feel foolish because she appears to be missing you less than you'remissing her. Don't forget, she's on a high and traveling so of course she has lots to think about You only have the job of sitting at home waiting. That is hard. Just bide your time and see how she reacts when she returns. Do not badger her though because whe will clam up that will drive you crazy aqnd your mind will race. It's time to be cool.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2011): Is this travel for work? Or for fun/pleasure?God, please don't tell me it was for fun/pleasure. I understand her not wanting to waste the time/money that was already planned. But why would she still have to meet up with her ex boyfriend? Let alone include him in her e-mails?This just sounds like trouble. I am so so sorry. But having been in your position before; dealing with the whole ex-boyfriend still talks to her position. It doesn't ever work out well.Especially if he still loves her, and you all almost split over it before. My friend, find another woman. One who values you, and makes you feel important and loved. It takes 1 minute to tell someone you truly love how you feel. You always find the time to make it. If she is one of those who says she will always remain friends with her ex, even if she knows he still has feelings for her. Then she isn't giving you the respect you deserve. Would you ever do that to her? Didn't think so. Take a stand, tell her how you really feel about the ex issue, and if she doesn't like it; then you are better off ending it now because I promise down the road it will hurt so so much more.
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