A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Yesterday I went on for a few drinks with a girl I met online. The date went really well (at least, I think it did); it lasted well over two hours. We have a lot in common, had lively conversation and she is stunningly beautiful. But now I am completely smitten and can't stop thinking about her. (butterflies, shortness of breath, etc). I've been single for a while, hate the lack of control I have over my feelings and am afraid of being rejected eventually.Applying the principle that the better the first date went the less time you should wait to ask for a second, I texted her the following day asking her out a second time over the weekend. She's busy, so it will have to wait 'til next week. Needless to say, I am dreading having to wait through the weekend and would appreciate some advice on how to get my mind off her and how to approach things with her, generally, next week.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (26 June 2015):
 I think the wait is ACTUALLY a good thing (for you) because you can get yourself a bit together before date #2.
I agree with Notsohappy, that texting ONCE a day would be a good way to show her you are interested WITHOUT going over the top and being TOO keen or too clingy (yes there IS such a thing as being too keen). Once a day is a NICE reminder, and it will show her you ARE interested.
On your first date did you two talk about places you like around the area you live in? Or things she likes to do? If so, I'd take that into the "planning" of the next date.
Also I agree with Notsohappy's advice in USE your manners on the next date, take the time to groom/wash and dress and ENJOY this phase of getting to know each other.
As for the fear of rejection. WELL, we ALL have that. And whether you WANT it or not, it WILL happen at some point on your life. IT doesn't MEAN in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM that you are NOT somehow GOOD enough. It just means that the other person didn't FEEL a connection as strongly as you did.
Now I'm not saying that because I think she will reject you, but to let you know that FEAR of rejection will HOLD you back in life.
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