A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:3 weeks ago I got with this great girl, shes my age (14), beautiful, smart and everyone likes her. I love her but I don't feel any connection with her, I think its just something i'm going through but i find myself looking,dreaming and even liking other girls. My best girl friend has been the main focus of all the above. I've known her since the day she was born, shes really good looking and we have so much in common. A few months back at a youth disco (dance/ youth nightclub) I was asked to meet ( a thing we do in dublin casually, aka french kiss) her, but it was set up and she was asked aswell, she said yes but when I went over hands on her arse her arms round me, about to lean in she backed out, she said it would be too awkward but her friends tell me she still likes me. I like her more than my gf sadly. What should I do? I want the other girl but I dont want to hurt my gf. And please don't give me a moral lesson on how bad it would be if i dumped my gf for the other girl, I would prefer a method/ game plan type thing. Thank you Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone, I think its just something I was going through for a couple of weeks, now I can't imagine being with another girl and she's the same. :)
A
female
reader, Butterfly_13  +, writes (27 June 2010):
Stick with your girlfriend. My boyfriend was also one of my close friends-then he found someone else. He dumped me for her. I'm not trying to give you a moral lesson or anything like that. Do you really want to risk your friendship? If you asked your friend, and she didn't like you like that, it would be super awkward. My ex and I hate eachother now, I just don't want you and your gf to make the same mistake. But I don't know your personal situation, so you can ignore this advice if you want. Just try to think of it through the perspective of your gf and friend.GOOD LUCK!!! =)
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 The two girls are not for you. You never got serious with your best female friend because somehow something is missing and it didn't work out. You and your girlfriend progressed into a relationship then found out the chemistry was not as great as your female friend. If you ask for a method or a game plan, wouldn't that make you a player? You should break up with your girlfriend, not because of your female friend. Say sorry, I don't feel a connection. Find a girl you have chemistry with, who's also attracted to you, and is willing to have a relationship with you. You will have to wait longer to have a girl like this, but at least you won't be hurting anybody.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2010): Method, game play/method kind of thing? Whatever for...you are between 13-15 and at this age it is perfectly, normal, natural and healthy to be flexing those dating muscles for later on in life when you've learnt what you really like, and settle for the real thing.
So of course I'm not going to say how terrible it is IF you moved on from your current girlfriend. I'm afraid you must accept some pain, hurt is part of life/dating, and cannot be avoided..ever I'm afraid. It is was makes up more rounded individuals. If one is not going to accept being rejected a few times in life, then they shouldn't date, as it is all part of the dating game, especially at your age, when young girls and guys are exploring different people.
Don't worry too much, please, but please tell your current girlfriend as sensitively as you can, that may be it's time for you BOTH to meet, be friends and date others. If you genuinely like each other, there is no reason you can't remain in touch. It's so easy to let things drift, not say anything, only eventually the truth surfaces, and it's that, that really hurts finding out through others. I'm sure you will find a way, and both you, and your current girlfriend will meet lots of new people over the next few years until you both meet the right person. But at 13-15 it's way too young to be committing to love for life.
Enjoy this wonderful period in your life, and go with your feelings..just be honest!
Jilly x
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A
female
reader, Wise Woman of the Forest  +, writes (27 June 2010):
 Of course you're going to be more attracted to your best friend, you have so many connections with her and you've known her all your life. But if she says it's awkward I'm afraid there isn't much you can do. Plus if she does like you, having a girlfriend will most likely be hurting you. And I know you said no moral lesson, but if you like this other girl, you shouldn't stay with the girlfriend just because you want a girlfriend. It would hurt her if she found out you liked someone else MORE than her. (:
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