A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone!I'm stuck in a dilemma! You see i have been with this guy for 11 months now, i know its not really that long, but i do love him, or well at least i thought i did. We get on really well, but recently we've been having a few little arguments, nothing major and they've all been sorted never been in the situation where i think oh god i don't want to be with him.BUT now i have a bigger problem. My best friend is a guy, we've known each other since college, so a good 4 years now, never once in those 4 years did i think about 'being with him', but over the 6 months or so we have been getting a lot closer. When i say closer, i mean opening up to each other, i pretty much know everything there is to know about him. I understand him, and i believe he understands me. We have so much in common, and i've always always thought he'd make a brilliant bf for someone, but recently i've been thinking he'd make a brilliant bf for me!! He is the perfect guy. And i just don't know what to do. But because i've been having problems with my current bf my head is completely messed up and i don't really know what to think. I keep thinking about what it'd be like to be 'with' my best friend. We literally get on like a house on fire, but i don't know if anything could progress from a friendship to a relationship. I know these are bad thoughts, and i shouldn't be thinking like that when i'm suppose to be with another guy, but its hard not too. I think i still love my bf. You see the arguments we've been having are basically about the fact that i'm doing all the running around cause he's too lazy to get a job and a car, and so when i'm not with my bf that is what i'm thinking about him, how lazy he is, and i wonder what i'm doing with him, but then when we're together he's so lovely and thats when i realise why i am with him.But my best friend, he has it all, he has the job, the car, we have so much in common, like i said we understand each other, i can go to him with problems and he comes to me with his, he is attractive, can make me laugh, i trust him with my life. He's seen pretty much every side of me, except the gf side obviously. He really is the perfect guy for me. :(Please help i don't know what to do. I've got a holiday booked and paid for with my bf in 2 weeks to spend a week together, i was really excited when we first booked it, couldn't wait to spend the time together, but the way i'm feeling now i don't know if i'll be able to make it through the week without going mad at my bf. I really want this holiday, i want to go away with him, and i really need the time off work. But with everything thats going on in my head i don't know if its such a good idea now. And its not like i can really back out of it, as like i said, its booked and paid for. HELP! Any advice much appreciated! :)
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male
reader, paul739 +, writes (2 May 2010):
Choose your best friend...because ultimately if you have feelings for each other it may get to the stage where your current boyfriend will become jealous of the closeness that you share with your best friend and likewise your best friend may find it hard seeing you with your boyfriend and this may distance him from you. The way you describe your best friend makes him sound as if you believe he is perfect for you and the strongest relationships come from best friendships because you know each other so well to start with. As for the holiday..not sure...maybe go on it..perhaps it will help you make up your mind. If you end up arguing and looking forward to coming home so you can see your best friend then you know what you have to do.
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