A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok so this is how it went down. I moved to Texas in May and started school in August. There was this girl(Jessica) there who i liked just based on her looks but i didn't do anything because i wanted to get to know her personality. We only had two classes together so it took a while for me to get to know her. And over the next few weeks she had liked another guy that didn't like her so she was focused on him and I was focused on another girl who I liked(Michelle). I asked her out on Oct. 3 and we have been going out since then. Then the last week of October I had my schedule changed so I had a class with Jessica and not Michelle and before I had both of them in my class. Then the day I went into that class Jessica told me that she liked me, but I had lost my feelings towards her because I had a gf so I was saying that I had a gf and It was too late.Then on November 7 Michelle moved 200 miles away to Houston. That sucked but we decided to stay together. Then a couple of days passed and Jessica started to be a little more physical by hugging me all the time, holding my arm while I was walking and stuff like that. I still didn't like her but I didn't care that she did those things. Then we started to hang out more outside of school and I slowly started to like her more and more.Now I'm caught between deciding from either Michelle or Jessica. I would go with which on I like more but I Love them both and I don't want to hurt either one of them. I don't want to lose Michelle but I don't want to be "just friends" with Jessica either. So I don't know what to do.There is more to it but it's really complicated. If you want me to tell you the rest to give better advice on what to do just ask me.Any advice would be appreciated. ThanksThe thing is Michelle most likely wont find anyone because she Loves me and Jessica's feelings are genuine because I wasn't responding to her and she still waited.I can work with a long distance relationship i think I mean I'm pretty sure of it.And if i don't date either one of them then it will hurt both of them because they don't want me to not go out with the other they just want to date me.
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female
reader, The.Always.There.Auntie  +, writes (12 December 2008):
Hey
Well firstly, it's good that your seeking advice. Michelle, being further away, is the harder relationship to maintain. It is really up to your own conscience as to whether or not you want to try being with both of them. However, if you do decide to be faithful to one, if I were in your shoes, it would be Jessica. She obviously likes you, and as you said yourself her feelings are probably genuine. Michelle is not a definite no-no, because it proves your determination as a pair that you two decided to try out being together even after the blow to your relationship that came in the form of distance. Jessica would be your best option in my view because she will always be there for you. She is obviously dedicated to you, although the way it came about must have put a lot of pressure on you. However, if you decide to two-time, it can't last. So unless you're looking just for a bit of fun, nothing long-term, which by the sounds of it isn't the case if you're prepared to go long distance, it's not your best option. Just the effort from your part of asking this question shows your not looking for that.It is your decision and ultimately you are the one who's got to make the choice, so don't be put under pressure.
Good Luck and I hope it works out well whatever you choose.
xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2008): It must be terrible being so popular!
Michelle is now 200 miles away, so unless you've got transportation issues licked, I'd say that was a non-starter.
Jessica is a lot closer geographically, so I'd go with her for the time being or until you get bored with one another. Michelle will always be there for you as a back-up if that happens as long as you keep in touch and swear your undying love for her. Keep the two of them in separate 'compartments' though - you don't want either of them to discover that you're splitting yourself two ways.
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