A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, I am looking for some reassurance, really. I am turning 30 this year and going through a divorce. I have been panicking a lot about this and feel like I’m now too old to live an exciting life and go out on dates etc. I have never really been single so the prospect of all This is terrifying to me. Am I too old now ? Have I missed out ? Does anybody have any ideas on how I can stop thinking like this?Thank you for your advice.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2022): Exciting life?
Interested people are interesting.
It's as simple as that.
Is there anything you wanted to try/do?
If you're only thinking about dates and meeting men, well that is not very interesting, is it?
People who act that way come off as deseprate. Including women.
What do youw ant in life?
If you want to have meaningless sex, well that's easy! Just make sure that you're safe. You'll find plenty of men looking for casual sex and NOTHING more. Don't fool yourself by thinking that you can change them.
If you want a good relationship with a good human being. Well, you'll have to work for that. It takes time. Good people are indeed very often taken, but NOT all of them.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 June 2022): It's a big life change but you're 30. That's not old at all you can change your life anytime you want it's never too late. I was engaged and the relationship broke down when I was 32. I didn't know what to do. If I would manage. Dating seemed scary and different after so long in a relationship, heck the world seemed scary. But I went on dates - as for being old most of the guys I dated were 20-28 so I got a confidence boost. Went on holiday. Did things for myself. Don't see it as a breakdown of what you know see it as an awakening to truly get to know yourself and be all that you want to be. Remember self care. Get some new clothes, think of all those things you wanted to do with no one telling you what you should and shouldn't do. It's your life. You haven't missed out because you are just beginning a new chapter. Good luck ! And enjoy your life to the fullest.
There are websites where you can go to different countries, they give you food and a place to stay in exchange for work, like helping teach children, or helping in other projects which can be rewarding and you get to explore new places, have time off, make new friends and hobbies. The world is your oyster !
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A
female
reader, RitaBrown +, writes (15 June 2022):
Well, I've never been married but my engagement broke down when I was about the same age as you. I also worried about how I was going to cope being a singleton again and how I was going to manage maintaining a home on my own (which is something I'd never done before.) And I admit it was hard adjusting at first.
But the forthcoming decade was going to be the best of my life. If I had to go back in time I'd definitely go back to my 30s. Sure, it had a few down times but most of it was great. And the best times were when I was single.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (15 June 2022):
 Miss out on what exactly?
People keep talking about how they have "missed out" on dating or casual sex because they were in a committed relationship or marriage. And I always think "What in the World?"!
No, you are not going to be "too old" for dating at 30. Yes, you will probably have to date a LOT to find someone worth your time. Yes, you will probably get a lot of interest from guys who just want to smash and never see you or talk to you again.
Do you know that SENIOR citizens have a HUGE number of STIs? Because THEY are still getting it on!
Before you get started on dating, TAKE some time to be JUST yourself. Figure out WHO you are, what makes YOU tick, and WHAT you want in a partner in the future.
Take some time to figure out what went wrong in the marriage. And if YOU need to do some self-work. That way you don't drag that into your next relationship.
Sure a young woman in her 20's will (undoubtedly) have more men wanting her than someone who is 30, 40, 50 etc. THAT is kinda natural. Men in their 30, 40, 50 + ALSO have a "smaller" pond to "fish in".
If you are looking to find a life partner that you can settle down with and build a family, it's PRETTY darn important that YOU pick the "right" guy for you and for the "job".
But no, you are not some "old maid" who needs to be on a shelf.
Get your divorce and some self-reflection done FIRST, then worry about the next step in your life.
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