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anonymous
writes: My girlfriend has lots of MALE email addresses stored in her computer whom she claims are all workmates she exchanges emails with them every day. I know they are of a sexual nature a lot of the time. we have been together two years, any advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A reader, Danielle, writes (12 February 2005): Hi,I no you are in a relationship and it can be hard at times.But you have to trust one another.It may come to a time when you feel like this and i think you should take your girlfriend out on a dinner date and show her how much you care for her.This will make your girlfriend know you love her so much and show her you two have a good time together.I know you have female mates just like she has male mates but once again this does not make you sexually attracted to them.I know you two love each other so much that no one will get in the way.So take her out and have fun and forget about the email addresses and love one another.Hope everything works out for you two!
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reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (11 February 2005):
 Hi there,Speaking as a (very!) independant-minded woman with lots of male friends who are no threat whatsoever to my husband, I suggest you find out a bit more about some of the men your girlfriend exchanges email with.Has she been friends with them for a long time, like, before you and she were a couple? If so, you probably have very little to worry about. Women can be friends with men, and enjoy their company without being sexually attracted to them. It's admittedly a little unusual, but it's definitely possible that your gf and her men friends just toss around sexual innuendo for fun, without it meaning they're actually interested in doing it.On the other hand, if these are fairly new acquaintences and she seems to be generating more male friends as time goes by, the situation may be less innocent.I can only suggest that you tell your gf how you feel. Tell her that it makes you unconfortable that she emails so many men friends, particularly when you know the contents of the messages are a bit racy. Tell her the truth: that you're afraid that she'll move on with someone else.Then ask her if she wouldn't mind toning down the contents of the messages, just to put your mind at ease. You're never going to be able to screen who she has as friends, but if she loves you, then she should be able to understand your unease about this and make some compromises.Just have a calm talk and tell her that it bothers you. Then see how she responds. If she gets defensive or angry... then, you probably have your answer.Good luck!
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