A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know where to start, but i am pretty much finding myself growing more distant, angry and unhappy with my fiance. I know i love him alot, and when we go out and do things together, its always alot of fun, but i am just not 'feeling it' anymore.- we have been together for about 5 years, and engaged for just over 1 year. You would think we would have some wedding plans by now? No. Every time the word wedding is mentioned, i get shut down. its like he has used the ring on my finger as a means to keep me with him but he actually doesn't intend on marrying me. its not like we can't afford it or anything, so i just don't know what this means...- lately i have noticed his lack of respect for me. He is not affraid to broadcast this lack of respect in front of his friends either - which is especially humiliating. Is like i put in all the effort, and he puts in nothing. One rule for him and another rule for me, it is depressing.- His ex. He always goes to his ex's house because one of his friends lives with her. This makes me so angry, because he always talks about her as if she is his current girlfriend. "She is so hot, she is such a nice person.. blaah blaah" is this normal? They have not been together since school, and it wasn't his first girlfriend or anything.- the sex. i swear to god he is obsessed. i know men love it, but come on really?There are so many other things i could tell you about him but in the end I have tried talking to him about all these issues, but he always comes up with "Don't be an idiot, why should i do that!"How can i fix this relationship? Or should i just give up and leave?
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engaged, fiance, his ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2009): fixing a broken relationship... ok have magic wand ready? no ok that's a shame we will have to find another way.
Think you have to lay down some rules.
1) Stop watching porn (i know its not in there - but bet he does) tell him you want less sex of better quality.
2) tell him to stop going round there - its hurting you. Why cant the friend come to your place?
3) Spend time with him.
4) Talk to him about the lack of respect and warn him thats a yellow card offence. If he does it again then it turns red.
5) suggest a date for the wedding in two years and start making motions towards it (lead him there) go dress shopping etc. it will galvinise him into a yes or no decsion...
hope that helps - off to recharge wand now.
hugs star.x
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