A
male
age
41-50,
*avenasif
writes:Hi, I went out with this girl about a year ago and when she got a little too close I broke up with her. Since then she has been my best friend and slowly I began to fall in love with her. BUT even though she constantly wanted to get back together I didn't because I had serious commitment issues. Now my problem is that now that I and absolutely devastatingly in love with her, she is NOT. Will some one please help me out here. I realize that I have been a real jerk and I don't deserve any better but I know now that she is the one. I am a very out going guy. I have no shortage of dates or (to be blunt) one night stands or girls that wanna be with me. But I just want her. I know she still loves me because she still wears my promise ring, as do I. Well we always did. She still carries around with her a memorabilia of our first night together. Please help.........
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Mimit +, writes (11 January 2009):
All I can say is that I think you are growing up and realizing what is important in life. Physical attraction is so easy to find, but falling in love with someone is something worth fighting for! I am in a similar situation in that I didn't appreciate the love my boyfriend had to offer (and was commitment-phobic) and now I almost feel it is too late to redeem myself. However, the key word is "almost". Forgive yourself, put your past mistakes behind you, and fight for what you want! If you love her the way you say you do, then you will find the strength you need and your heart will guide you. If you open yourself up to her and speak from your heart then she will hear you and believe you. Keep in mind that, because you broke up with her before, you will have to work twice as hard to win her heart back. If it is love, though, it is worth it. Be persistent, and don't let yourself get discouraged if she doesn't respond the way you want right away. She was hurt and may be protecting her heart. Treat her gently and work to earn her trust. Good luck!
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