A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusedbutdeeplyinlove
writes:Hey I need help. I have two guys I really like ones name is tony and the other is adrien and tony lives here and adrien lives in new york. I've met tony and he's nice but he's very hyper he can't sit still for very long he's very goofy and isn't very serious. My mom don't really like him cause he's so hyper and she has a bad feeling about him plus he smokes and gets bouncing off the wall hyper on 3 cups of coffe. Adrien don't smoke or get that hyper but he has 2 kids and lives far from me and he's closer to my age he's 23 and tony is 27 and I'm 18. I don't know who to choose I'm thinking of choosing adrien but I'm not sure. Plz help me and tell me what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Manya +, writes (19 January 2008):
Hello! My advice is to give it more time. No one can choose for you, you must
consult your own heart. You're free, so you could even meet a third chap, if you like!
(As they say, there are many fish in the sea!!) It does sound like you're more drawn to Adrian at the moment. Have a date with him and get to know him!!
Best of luck, and keep us Aunts posted!
A
female
reader, hello1  +, writes (19 January 2008):
 Neither of them sound very good.
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (19 January 2008):
 As Irish 49 said. Do you think you can really get involved with a guy who has children and an ex wife? I think you should find a guy that does not come with extra baggage unless you are mature enough to handle the situation.
Go and have fun with your friends, eighteen is far too young to settle down with a guy. Make the most of your youth, get out there and meet people. You have got donkey's years yet to find Mr Right and settle down. All the Aunts and Uncles on Cupid have your best interests at heart. Dusky xxx
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (19 January 2008):
 well only you can really know who to choose, your already leaning towards adrien so choose adrien!!my guess is that the reason why your so attracted to tony is because he is the bad boy that so many of us think we like but we end up never choosing - there are reasons for that!! if you went for tony, you would probably end up getting tired of his up and down personality, and he would also probably be very fickle. go for adrien hun, its wat you really want obviously
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2008): You state that you met Tony. Am I right to assume you 'haven't' met Adrien? Are these men you met online, texting or on the phone? If so, I would suggest you think very maturely and look out for yourself, before even suggesting you 'really, really' like them. Getting established in a good, quality relationship takes time and patience. It's a long process where you use your smarts and really evaluate each guy and what he offers to you. While Adrien sounds like the guy who seemingly has his 'life' together and could be the better choice for you..I still suggest you get to know him, really well. You want to go into his world and find out more about his life, especially if he has children. Are there ex problems? Is he a good Dad? Is he raising his kids and really involved? Does he support them emotionally and financially? He's on the hook for that for many years to come. Are you ready to accept the possibility of 'sharing' a guy with his kids? Some women aren't as it takes him away from working at the relationship, depending on his committment and involvement in their lives. And they need their Dad.
So look really hard for compatability and at what you truly want. Males can say charming things and hook a girl into becoming interested and that's okay, just don't fall hard until you have met him and gotten to know him. In other words, engage the brain and not the heart...at least not yet. Tony sounds like he has some maturity problems. And if you are having doubts about him and rethinking his behaviors, then take that as a sign...he's not the one. And if you don't want a man with 'ex wife and kid ' baggage, then he's not the one either. Whoever you choose, choose because you want to enhance you life with someone who can treat you well and be as generous as you are. Good luck, dear
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