A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im quite confused about how my friend now feels about me. I have 2 questions here so please help me to figure out both points :) I always thought he did have feelings for me but we both seemed shy, he never spoke to me like he did anyone else. One morning afew weeks ago i got the guts to tell him how i felt, it was through text as he was away at the time. At that point i didn't realise he was seeing anyone until i saw a comment on his facebook 2 days later. He replied to me saying he didnt feel the same way and he never has but wanted to be friends. The girl he was seeing was nothing serious, they literally went on one date just before i told him and that was it, no one heard anymore of her. Thing was we had a talk when we met up again with our friends and he said the same thing, he didnt want a relationship but he wanted to be good friends and it'd be great if we could be as close as we were once in the past and mess around like we did(which was originally what made me think there was something there) I respected that, accepted his answer and that was it. he knows im not the pushy type and i'd never ever force him. He told me he'd been waiting for me to tell him but i didnt see the point as i knew the response.Since then we got better for about a week and i thought everything was going to be ok but i've really tried to talk to him more as thats been one thing he used to moan about to people(that i didnt talk much) but i just get an answer and then no effort to make a conversation unlike anyone else. Im really trying but i've given up! Also any time i try and have a joke with him about something he goes and moans about me! Whats the problem? I have not done anything to make him feel uncomfortable or anything.Also i found out that after we had the talk he went to my friend and said "she couldnt of told me at a worse time not im seeing someone!" (i thought everything was sorted) But i dont understand what the problem was. Whether he was seeing anyone or not he would have given me the same answer if he doesnt like me that way? Its not like i knew her or anything so i dont see why? Please help me out of this hell hole!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2010): Hi I'm the poster sorry I confused you I didn't mean mess around in those terms I just meant having fun as friends playfighting n widing each other up. Just having a laugh nothing sexual or to do with that area.
A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (24 August 2010):
 Let's recap to see if I understand you , I'm a little confused at certain bits in here but I get the gist. You guys are friends, told him you have feeling for you but he doesn't reciprocate he wants to be friends, but he wants to mess around, and you're okay with that, then he goes and complains about you to other people and I'm confused about the last paragraph. You somehow put yourself into a friends with benefits are you aware of this? Did he specify that's what you guys were from the get go? If not then he's really pulled one on you and he's doing it again. Then, he violates friend code and talks about you behind your back. This guy isn't worth the friendship much less a relationship. He's never going to feel that way about you he's already told you twice, I don't know how many more times he has to say it. Kick him to the curb.
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