A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok me and my bf have been in a 7 month relationship and i love him so much i ha ve a problem he cheated on me on our 3rd montha nd i didnt find out untill 1 month later when they brook up:_( i loved him so i took him back , not i c a change in him and hes really in love with me and i love jim to :) hes my everything but the only thing is i mcant get over that he cheated and it messing up my realtionship what do i do??
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell i do see myself in 10 years with him, hes not my age hes umm older then me but hes not like other guys. really out of all the guys i datted he is the only one that seems to care.And yeah i should lear to forgive but forgettinf will be the hard part.and maybe he does need hes space i still want him in my life but maybe it better if we just sit down and talk what we really feel about each other:),thx for the help it will help in the future!
A
female
reader, Umari Solanthus  +, writes (21 August 2008):
 Was your boyfriend actually seeing another girl while he was with you, or was it just a single incident, like a kiss at a party or something? If it was the latter, then you should consider forgiving him.If it was the first one, then you will have to ask yourself if you can really trust him. If not, then you may have to consider breaking up with him. Not necessarily permanently, but to give yourself some space and try to decide whether or not you can trust him or not. Most people cringe when they say 'go on a break' but if it is affecting the relationship then you should consider spending some time apart, before you grate on each other's nerves and end up falling out more seriously.You will also have to ask whether or not you see a future in this relationship? Being cheated on will have repercussions on your future--creating issues with trust and making you paranoid. If you do not sort these out now, in five or ten years time you may be sitting somewhere paranoid and going out of your mind wondering 'where is he and who is he with' when he could just be harmlessly working late or having a drink with mates, whether they be male or female (or your suspicions would be well founded, who can say for sure?)But you will have to decide what this relationship means, not just to you but to him as well. Do you see yourself with this guy in ten years time? I'll say married and having children as well, though you do not necessarily need them to be in a relationship, but they are important things to consider if you are truly serious about one another.In the end, you won't be able to forget about this. I don't believe the phrase 'forgive and forget'. You can forgive, to a point, but you cannot forget. You can, however, forgive and begin rebuilding trust. He needs to prove himself trustworthy to you, and prove he feels the same.The problem is that you are both still young (sorry, it had to be said somewhere), and as such you, and he, will both want to have fun. If you chain a guy into a 'relationship' he may grow bored and feel trapped and look for fun, and it's in these situations that these things can happen. You need to be sure you give him space so he can still enjoy his youth, while still being with you.I can't think of anything else to add right now. Just try to think about what the relationship means to you both and whether or not you think you could forgive him.
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