A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am 24 years old, and i am in an almost 7 year relationship with my 21 year old boyfriend. We fight everyday about everything. We dont have sex anymore, and we sleep opposite in bed and hen we do sleep in the same bed, we are comfortable with calling each other every name you can think of, and we talk about leaving each other all the time.I feel that we no longer have anything in common. I want to leave and I want to live my own life but he has made me feel like i cant succeed without him. I feel powerful enough that i could though. We have been living together for 3 years, 2 of those years was with his brother. It was hell, i cried almost everyday. I just dont feel happy with the way my relationship is going. He talks about buying a house with me. I think it could be commitment problems, but we argue fight and threaten each other to much. We get along when we dont fight but there is no tender compassion, just awkward communiction. He thinks its healthy to fight cause his parents do, my family is nothing like his, im not even sure if i like them.. please give me some advice? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (19 February 2007):
 You can't keep beating a dead horse. Time to move on. You are miserable and if you want to find any happiness again you need to drop this baggage. Be strong, you will not regret it. Good luck.
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (18 February 2007):
 Hi there,
It sounds to me like this relationship has been pretty dead for awhile. I think you've both checked out, clearly you don't even enjoy each other anymore! I think your boyfriend is not letting go of you (if he's making you feel like you can't succeed with out him) is because HE is afraid of being alone. That's the reality.
The compassion and tenderness and happiness and fun that this relationship once had is gone. You're young, so is he. If he's twenty one, you started dating when he was... 14? He's terrified of being alone. He's never really dated anyone else, he doesn't know how to be with any other woman.
This relationship needs to end. He needs to learn to function as a dating adult. He need sto find himself. I think that's what you need too. Next time you want to leave him DO IT. Don't turn back. Move out. Live YOUR life for awhile, Maybe in a few years, he'll be ready to have a relationship again, but both of you have some growing and self-discovery to do.
You need to leave.
Good luck, sweetness.
xxIndia
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