A
male
age
36-40,
*allyman
writes:Hi all,recently posted a few times on here.Quick bit backround, I'm 24, girlfriend 34, been going out for 6 excellent years.I used to go out on a friday night for a drink etc... with my mate rob 2yrs ago, then all three of us me,rob and my girlfriend went out for few years, then last 6-8 months my girlfriend and rob went out on a friday.They havent "got it on" and my girlfriend knows that rob wouldnt probably want a relationship with her. and she assures me she hasnt cheated, she doesnt feel that way towards him. she got made redundant after 15years in the same job, felt a bit down/depressed etc.. and she also wanted to finish "us". she never gave me a reason, i stood by her, gave her some space, and now were back together (sort of) have been for about 4 weeks, but it just isnt the same. It was me who was doing all the chasing stupidly, the fear of losing her knowing she wasnt herself.On the few occasions weve had sex, she crys afterwards, also sometimes when i go to touch her etc... she just clentches up etc... Never was a problem previously.It came to light tonight that she centches up because she thinks "i treat her body, like its mine, i touch it when i want etc..." but she cant understand why she is thinking this.The crying after sex (also came out to light tonight) is due to her feeling guilty for her thoughts of rob, which she thinks of him, knowing she shouldnt be thinking about him, and then crys. I'm trying to stand by her through this, and i really want to pull through it. I blame myself partly for letting her go out with rob alone, but she knows it'd never become a relationship, and tells me i'm better than him and that she cant understand why shes thinking this.Shes been thinking of him frequently,maybe daily of recent, but not been seeing him or texting him etc... since we got back together and doesnt intend too.Will time heal it all ? does she need medical help, which i've suggested and she doesnt want to do, or should i pack my things again and leave her properly(although it nearly killed me inside last time we split)I live at home with my folks, and she has her own house.I'm soooooooo confused. as is she.I've come home tonight after chatting with her for the last 3 hours about it all, and i just feel really pissed off now. Really pissed off. I know i'll be pissed off all day tomorrow and thinking of it all day tomorrow.HELP !!!!
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female
reader, Wisdom  +, writes (10 April 2008):
 Its hard but let her go, It sounds like you have done everything you cvan for her.... Maybe suggest she has some professional help? Your a young man, find someone who is around your age and have a normal fun realtionship, you only get this time once in your life.
If Rob is a friend then he won't do anything with this woman and if he dose then do you really want him as a friend anyway?
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