A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am no longer in love with my boyfriend. We've been together for 4 years and we're about to go on vacation with about a dozen friends. Do I wait until after vacation (2 weeks from now) or do I just end it and have a good time? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): Wow four years and you just stopped loving him, or did you ever really love him? This is tuff. If you guys live together and have been together this long it will not be easy on him, especially if he is not aware of your true feelings. He is going to feel lost and confused as if our life together was a lie. I have been through this before and it was life altering. If you don't live together it may be easier to deal with since he already has his own place to retreat to and think things out. It will still be hard to get over four years of memories especially if they were good ones. Are you 100% sure you are not going through a 4 year itch. Being single is not always as fun as you may recall it to be. Good luck to you and him.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 August 2008):
Don't break up with him till after.
You don't have to lie to him about it but if you broke up and then went on holiday then it will ruin it for all your friends as it's going to be very political and they'll have to take sides.
It's not fair on him either way really but you can be fair to your friends and give them their holiday and keep your problems just between you two.
Good Luck!! xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): Well, it sounds like you have your mind made up on what you want to do, the only thing is when. If you wait until after the vacation to make the break, you may be sparing you boyfriend some hurt (for the time being) and giving you both a nice vacation, but it's just prolonging the inevitable and it is possible that the vacation would be a good way for your boyfriend to get his mind off you and start to get over the hurt of losing you if you make the break beforehand. It may make for a very akward vacation if you do it before, on the other hand. I guess if I absolutely had to choose, I'd say do it iafter/i the vacation to avoid akwardness and make sure he still has a good time. But you may want to just toss a coin instead, lol. Anyways, best of luck to you, and I hope everything works out. Take care!
RJGirl
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): If u don't love him let go. This trip will just be another memory he'll have to get over. But before u so anything stupid u need to figure out how out of the blue you lost all that love that u built up in 4 years. I've been in ur shoes and I let him go. He's happy now but I'm not. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I truly loved him I just had so many things blinding me that I didn't see past them and didn't see the truth. Know that if u do it. He will move on. Meaning u will no longer havewhat u had and if u ever decided to go back he might would take u back but hed always wonder if or when u would do it again. Its not worth it unless your ready to let go forever
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2008): I'm not sure what the best thing to do is because I do not know him or how he reacts to situations as such. If you decide not to break it off before the vacation however because you're afraid it may be awkward, just make sure you aren't lovey dovey with him or else he will not believe that you are out of love with him when you do break it off because of how you acted on vacation. If he gets suspicious or asks you about it while you're away, you may want to consider letting him down gently or saying, i don't want to talk now, let's just try to enjoy the vacation and we'll talk when we get home. Just my opinion.
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