A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hey guys I've posted a question about being in love before but I think that this is the final straw in my situation.Basically im in love with my friend. Its the first time i've felt this way and to be honest, its crippling me.She has no idea how I feel and im stuck about what to do.Should I tell her ?If I tell her, will it destroy our friendship or raise big barriers if she doesnt feel the same way ?or if I play it honest and cool can this be avoided ?Should I tell her I love her or just like her in a more than friends way ?Im so confused and scared of ruining our friendship. Losing her would be the worst thing thats happaned to me. I feel jealous when shes around other guys, I feel the worst pain on earth when she kisses other guys.If it can completely ruin our friendship i'd rather live with the pain in hopes it will pass than lose her.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 April 2009):
I think you'd have to be REALLY subtle, and then that might not work.
If you are going to do this then I wouldn't come out with anything big and scary like "I'm in love with you!"
If I were you I'd go for something along the lines of just telling her she is really beautiful.
If she gets weird about it then you should back off her, spend less time with her and try and get over her. If she takes the compliment then just try taking her hand or something and if the moment is right, lean in for a kiss.
You may still get slapped but at least you'll know.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 April 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do kind of get what you mean, but I dont think she would ever get changed in front of me. Also it wasnt love at first sight, this is a feeling thats been steadily getting more intense. Its only rescently ive really understood what it is.
Are there maybe hints or ways I can try and guage what she would say ?
maybe subtle questions that can give an indication ?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (23 April 2009):
Oh dear, you have let it go far too far and got stuck in the friend zone.
The thing is that if you just don't tell her and carry on being "friends" then she is going to be REALLY angry when she finds out. She thinks she can trust you at the moment and relax and play about, when she would NEVER let herself go if she knew how you felt.
You find her attractive but she thinks you don't, so she'll happily get changed in front of you and you are actually getting thrills. That's not nice to find out.
So in my opinion you have to tell her.
She may not want to be friends with you, because that's leading you on and hurting you.
This is a risk you have to take. In future please don't let it get to this point. You have to tell people when you first get these feelings, not let yourself fall in love and then get heart broken.
I really hope that she agrees to give it a go with you, but if not then you have to accept you are probably going to lose her unless she is really selfish.
Good Luck!! xx
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