A
female
age
41-50,
*oir
writes:Hi,Six years ago I dated a this guy, and the relationship ended very badly.He went into our relationship knowing that his ex was expecting his child, after a short 3 month relationship he finally confessed as she had a miscarriage. The thing that hurt the most was him spending weekends at her place and using her car to visit and pick me up. As if that wasn't enough it became obvious that i was the "other woman".Well, because of us dating; two of our closest friends just got married and this started a new level of agony for us both, as we (him and I) kept thinking that should have been us....After many years of not directly speaking to each other we finally built up the courage (or rather he did) to speak about it.Just abit of history though, during these six years he has gotten married a month ago and has two beautiful kids. and on my side I have forgiven him even though I remember the reason we broke up.Its hard to explain but everything I have been through these last six years has been to avoid thinking of him and it has never worked because (even though I hate the truth) but he was/is the only person I truly loved . Now looking back I wish that we had gone to couseling and we could have been together...What do I do, as we cannot seem to get closure after finally speaking and I don't want to destroy his marriage; even though he admitted that he only got married because he thought he was doing the right thing????I cannot even hope to convey the depth of my feelings for him, but I have been through the gates of hell to forget him, and it just isn't possible. Should I pick up the phne and ask that we meet up, to try and get closure?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): He's married!!! He went in front of God, made a vow and married this woman! Get over Him! You don't need closure from him... it sounds to me that you just want to meet up to have a fling... just to see if it would happen. It's been 6 years since you've been with this man. you should already have closure. Instead of calling him you need to call someone else. Leave the man in peace.. or for that matter... leave the woman he married in peace. sounds to me like she has enough troubles on her hand that for you to have an affair with him. Think of it this way... If you were her, what would you want you to do? This man is not yours anymore... he has 2 children and a wife. (that wife is not you) if you meet up with him you are just going to cause problems.. now is that the kind of person you want to be?
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