A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there, i really love my man and he's really an amazing, rare kinda guy. he always buys me flowers and massages my back and rubs my feet and looks after me really well if i've had a hard day or i'm sick. only one problem, he's reeeally jelous and protective, and i'm a lot more attractive than his ex girlfriend who he left for me (don't judge me i hate that i did that to someone who didn't deserve it). he always accuses me of cheating or flirting with other guys. when we go out and i go to put something on he says things like "are you gonna wear THAT?". when we're out in public guys look at me and say comments about my looks and stuff and my boyfriend goes into terminator mode and i can't get him out of it and it really embarrases me and makes me feel like i dress like a whore. i've restrained him from beating people up in public a couple of times. i don't want to stop dressing the way i do just because he doesn't like people looking at me, and i don't even dress that bad, i don't wear mini skirts with fishnet stockings and high heels and a midrif top or anything, i have my own style and i don't follow a trend. i'm comfortable with the way i look, and i don't want to hide myself, life is too short for that shit. anyway how can i stop him from being so protective? he has ruined a lot of fun and good times because he can't handle people looking at us when we're out in public. please help i'm tired of being made out to be a whore
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2009): I like the idea of dressing more modestly. It really does look tackey if you show a lot of bare skin and especially cleavage when going out at night....it looks like you are on the hunt......and that you are desperate for male attention....so I can understand him not liking what you wear....ask him what he likes, or get dressed and say how do I look? If his requests aren't that you entirely cover up, then I think it is OK to adjust your "style".
That said, I am concerned that his jealousy leads him to get into physical altercations with other men....is he drunk when he does this? If his jealousy leads to over posessiveness then I am concerned that he is an abuser....so keep an eye on this....and maybe suggest that he gets some help for anger management....this kind of thing can accelerate and it will be you he will turn his anger upon...
So keep careful watch of the situation and if you see a pattern or an increase in his control, do yourself a favor and get out.
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