A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year now and i am yet to orgasm. We have tried different stimulants but nothing seems to work. Can i just not orgasm? Is there anything wrong with me? How can i orgasm?
View related questions:
orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2010): uhmm. try reaching your g spot
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (25 November 2010):
Hi there. Have you every orgasmed in your life?
By this I mean, have you ever masturbated and brought yourself to orgasm by that method?
If not, I suggest when you are by yourself at home and can have complete privacy, just experiment with what feels good and what doesn't. Masturbation is a very good way of getting to know your own body. It will also help you when you and your boyfriend are together, because you can guide his hand to doing what pleases you.
What's probably happening to you when you and your boyfriend are making love, is that each time you begin, you start to think ahead to the thought - "I wonder if I'll have an orgasm today." Then the thought becomes the problem. This is a common thing to happen.
By doing that, you are missing all the subtle little tingles your body is having and then you feel as though you have no pleasurable feelings at all. This isn't actually true.
While you are thinking ahead to a possible orgasm, you are being completely distracted from what's happening at the time. The feelings would be there, but your mind isn't on them - so they go unnoticed.
If on the other hand, you simply concentrated on every itsy bitsy tiny little tingle that happened, as they happened, you would definitely find that those tiny tingles would then intensify over several minutes, and then eventually become very intense - to the point of actual orgasm.
It's a case of living totally in the present moment, and concentrating wholly on exactly what's happening at the moment it's happening. You will enjoy it a whole lot more in future if you do.
Once you start having orgasms, you will find that orgasms can vary from mild, medium to intense and very intense. There is nothing wrong in this, they will always vary in tensity, depending on how you are feeling at the time. Sometimes you will be more in the mood than others, you might be tired, unwell, tough day at work, just had a fight with your boyfriend, any number of things that could affect the orgasm - or the ability to have one. This is normal.
So what I am actually saying really, is it's probably more the case of you wondering if you're going to have an orgasm than your ability to actually have one - that is the problem.
You are probably constantly thinking about it even before you and your boyfriend start. You might be worrying about it throughout your day, telling yourself that something must be wrong.
Rest assured, there is absolutely nothing wrong.
...............................
|
