A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:So this might be a little graphic, so I apologise in advance. This is kind of awkward for me, so please be patient… So, my boyfriend and I tried to have intercourse the other day, but it was very unsuccessful. We can’t seem to fit him into me, and I’m not sure why. I’ve had sex for two other people in the past, and he is a virgin, so both of us aren’t very experienced. Everything seems to be as it should, but we can just never get it. We tried a few times, but most of the time, it didn’t work. There were a couple of times where we kind of got it halfway in, but it kept on falling out. Does anybody have any tips please? It’s really embarrassing and I don’t know who else to go to. Thank you Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Jims Kelly  +, writes (20 March 2022):
Have sex successfully, there is your answer, also try lube.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2022):
Glad you are enjoying one of the joys of your relationship-sex. Glad you both have been communicative of what you both want and are ready to try penetration. Like all woman, it is obvious that you would want to enjoy a sexual encounter. The hardness of an erection is the next part. a woman may enjoy a sexual encounter more if a man can get enough to penetrate her. In going you'll experience lots of amazing G-spot stimulation. Plus, deep penetration puts your bodies close together—and that can make you feel more emotionally connected as well. try these deeply pleasurable positions.
The Forward-facing cowgirl position has so many benefits, and deep penetration is chief among them. Have your partner lie back, then straddle him and ease his penis inside you as deep as you can. For deeper entry, you can open your legs wider, or gain leverage by pushing down on your partner’s chest with your hands. What's also great about cowgirl is that you control the speed and pacing—so if you want to take a break from deep thrusting to enjoy some clitoris stimulation, lean forward and have your partner play with your breasts. Or reach behind and caress his balls. You're in control.
The Bendy missionary face-to-face position, flexibility is a prerequisite. Start in the standard missionary position, then raise your legs above your head and hold them there, or free up your hands by resting your legs on your partner’s shoulders. This angle can be used to help your partner to go deeper and reach your G-spot." If you can’t comfortably position your legs overhead, try propping a pillow beneath your hips. This elevates the vagina and offers a similar angle as raising your legs does. Meanwhile, your hands are free to press into your partner's butt and encourage him to go even deeper.
The Countertop me is another good position to try. You'll need to get into your kitchen for this position: Sit on either the kitchen island or a table with your legs dangling over the edge. Your partner should face you and stand between your legs, grabbing your hips and sliding inside of you. You can lean back, but keep your legs wide open to give your partner deep access or lean so far back you can prop yourself up on your elbows and enjoy the view of your partner's penis disappearing inside you.
Hope these tips are helpful please provide us an update on how it is going (in if I may)…
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2022): He is a VIRGIN OP. That is WHY.
Be patient with him. Stop pressuring him. Stop putting pressure on each other to have sex. It only makes his anxiety worse. He is not experienced and he knows it. He feels awkward and inexperienced. His male ego is taking a hit. Likely because he knows you have had two other men to compare him to and by being a virgin, he is too worried about his ego and sexual failure more than anything else. He is worried about disappointing you, and himself. He is young. So are you. Stop rushing into it.... Good sex takes time and experience. With each other.
Here is my solution. LAY OFF SEX for awhile. I mean take it off the table completely. You will both be better off for it. Keep busy doing things which bring you closer to each other. Wait for the moment to come NATURALLY and that moment will come without pressure to have sex or pressure to perform. In that case, it is highly likely he will feel much more relaxed and comfortable and be able to have sex without feeling pressured. Do not plan or expect sex. Go with the flow. Time, patience and understanding is your friend. There is nothing wrong with either of you.
My husband had trouble penetrating me on our honeymoon as I was a virgin. He would get hard and then it would fall out because he was afraid of hurting me. He would always lose his erection after trying to enter me. He also had performance anxiety. I reassured him but I could not change the thoughts in his head. We decided to lay off sex for awhile. All we did was have oral sex. One night after we watched a movie and were feeling particularly close, we went all the way and he went through with it because the moment felt right and because he built up more confidence by engaging in oral sex with me.
So, two pieces of advice. Lay off sex for a little while. It won't kill either of you. And second, when you do start, try having ONLY ORAL sex. Take time to make each other orgasm through manual and oral stimulation. I suggest doing the 69 position and giving him a blowjob to bring him to orgasm. Or rubbing yourself on top of him to orgasm. Having him bring you to orgasm by going down on you. Let him see he can make you orgasm in other ways; that will make his confidence soar. Use some sex toys too. I call it the no penetration rule. Be creative with sex by doing oral only. This will get you both used to each other's bodies and feel more comfortable with giving each other orgasms without the pressure of intercourse. Oral sex can be very fun and intimate too! Enjoy it and then take the next step. You would be surprised how well that is going to work for you! Good luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2022): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi all,
Sorry for not clarifying in my question originally.
We do have foreplay, it’s our favourite thing. And we spend most of our time doing that. And we also do a lot of oral. It was just that we felt ready to try penetration, and it didn’t really work. We had spent a lot of time doing foreplay and oral beforehand and we’ve always been communicative of what we want with each other. I think it may have just been the angle at which we were trying. I’ll definitely try the pillow idea, thank you for that. And the guiding his penis thing too.
Thank you for your answers, it’s very much appreciated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2022):
heavy petting, kissing, stroking, caressing, rubbing, and touching helps to get both people ready for sex. the more aroused you both are, the easier it will be for the penis to enter the vagina. You’ll know you’re getting aroused when the vagina begins to moisten and the penis becomes erect, getting bigger and harder. When you are ready, one of you can use your hand to gently guide the penis into the vagina. Take your time, and don’t worry if it takes a few goes to get it in properly – especially when you are still getting used to each other’s bodies.
Once the penis is inside, you can move your bodies so that the penis pushes into the vagina and then pulls partly out again. Do what comes naturally and feels good - take it slowly, be gentle and make sure you are both comfortable. You can try different positions for vaginal sex that allow you to move your bodies in a way that rubs the clitoris. choose a position you both feel comfortable with. As you get to know each other’s bodies better, you can experiment with different positions and work out what you both like.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2022):
communication can go a long way. Foreplay is a good way to start. Here are some ideas to start with that. your partner’s eyes are a highly sensual spot — exciting this zone can be a great way to kick off the foreplay. gently petting a partner on the eyebrows and kissing the eyelids slowly. Even prolonged eye contact is a great way to build up an intimate connection. Slowly massaging the lip area or tracing the tip of your finger along the edges of the lips is a powerful foreplay technique. It will give your partner a wave tickles. running your tongue gently along the underside of the collarbone and slowly moving your fingers along is extremely pleasant to the touch and helps warm up the partner. The back of the neck and shoulders is an extra-sensitive area. here are a couple moves to try out:
• Slight tickles in the area,
• Gentle love bites,
• Nibbling the zone gently.
You can gently run your fingers along with the partner’s biceps, add some tongue movements, and add a couple of kisses for the ultimate pleasure. go for a head massage confidently, grab the partner by the hair, or run your hands through the partner’s curls.
foreplay is a good way to connect, express desire, enhance the sexual experience, increase the playful nature of the relationship or simply spice things up.
Through giving and receiving feedback and through trial and error, you can better use penetration and thrusting. The angle at which the penis is going in and out of the vagina matters. Some angles are more enjoyable and some can be painful. Key here is try different angles to see what brings about more pleasurable sensations for both of you. how well the head of the penis is stimulating the G-Spot. Various angles also intensify stimulation of the penis in different ways, making sex more pleasurable for him.
the woman on top gives her a lot of control in determining the angle at which the penis is coming in and out of her vagina. A woman can be on top facing her man (often referred to as cowgirl) or facing away from him (often referred to as reverse cowgirl). Both allow various penetration angles.
During missionary position, you can adjust angles with a pillow under the woman’s hips or by him moving forward so his chest may be more aligned with his face, as opposed to them being face-to-face.
He can enter your vagina from behind also gives them angles that are quite stimulating. Some women particularly find this position stimulates their G-Spot.
Incredibly deep penetration can be quite arousing for both of you! Or it may be painful (particularly for you). The key here is to find the threshold between what is optimal depth without something becoming painful.
In fact, varying the depth throughout a sex session can be quite tantalizing. Arousal and pleasure can build as a he varies how deep he is penetrating sometimes shallow, sometimes a little deeper and sometimes very deep.
Telling each other what feels good. Showing each other what feels good is important. There are so many sexual positions that afford you various angles for penetration and thrusting. You won’t know until you experiment a bit and see what you each enjoy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 January 2022): Do not forget to guide your partner's penis with your fingers (both hands). Pol/Brussels
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2022): It's performance anxiety, he needs to relax. Maybe a couple BJs might do the trick. If a little grossed out, get him hard with your hand and put a condom on -- finish that way. Maybe around the 5th time. when he's good and hard, mount him Cowgirl style (girl on top copulating) -- Another BJ tip, put a sandwich bag over near the happy ending. Save $2 and a Condom Tree. Or you always girl-up using no guardrails. And he'll like it, too.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2022): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question@kenny thank you for your answer. Sorry I never clarified, we do have foreplay, it’s both of our favourite things. But every time we’re ready to go, it just never goes in. I’ve had sex before, and it’s not been an issue. Mainly because they knew what they were doing, probably, whereas we don’t.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (25 January 2022):
 Invariably first time sex is not all its cracked up to be. I think that we build up a picture in our heads of how its going to be, how awesome and perfect its going to be but most of the time it never is, largely due to nervousness and performance anxiety.
Good sex is often something that get better over time, as we learn more about each other, our likes and dislikes, and what turns us on.
Maybe next time rather than just going straight into sex enjoy some foreplay, take time and explore each others body's, i think by doing this you will both feel more relaxed, and i think that you may find the penetration part easier.
Its all a learning curve, just relax about the whole thing and use experiences like this a lessons. Not saying it will be perfect next time, but after each time things will get more enjoyable, and easier.
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