A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Well, i'm 14 years old and now i feel it in myself that i am ready to have a boyfriend. I would really love my first boyfriend now, as i just want to expeirence it and want someone to love really. Now i'm ready for one i need to know HOW to get one. I've never got much attention off boys and ive only been asked out once, i was only about 13 then so ovbiously i wasnt ready so i kinda had to turn it down. I'll be going to a brand new highschool after the summer holidays and for me i see it is a brand new start, ive had abit of a rough time in my old highschool as i ended up getting bullied and well everything just came crashing down. So i was wondering how can when i go to this new school can i make it kind of clear i'm looking for someone and come across as attractive ? I'm not very confident and i'm not that pretty i'm okay looking but not great. I'm a size 14 and i'm 5,2 i am kind of fat but i'm working on losing the wieght. I do come across as a bit shy and not a relotionship kind of person but if one of them gave me a chance i wouldnt be shy relotionship wise. I have preactically no expeirence ive only really kissed a boy and thats it, my personality is a nice one id like to think, ill always help a person out where i can and have quite a good sense of humour once you get to know me. One other question i was just wondering in my old highschool i didnt get any male attention, no one said i looked nice or looked at me in that way some of them would take the micky out of the way i looked. Is that normal ? it may of been because i did'nt come across as very confident or looking for a boy and i guess my sense of fashion and looks werent that great either. but ive learnt alot since then and i do find being confident and socializeing hard because i have severe social anxcity but its getting better and ive learnt to be myself now and not be what people want me to be. So my qeustions are how do i come across confident ? How do i attract a potentinal boyfriend ? is it normal i havent had much male attention or had any expeirence yet ? And also as a bonus question XD how do i deal with being anxious around people? thanks.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 August 2011): Hello. I will give you a boys opinion. The bottom line is that some boys are really shallow and if a girl doesn't have a model's body and breasts then they won't look twice. You don't need to focus on being different. You say you aren't pretty? Most girls say that but to be honest you are what some guys are looking for. If you are losing weight, go for it! Do what you want!
Basically, you just have to concentrate on speaking to boys, and maybe at the age of 14, going to a cinema. Stave off the sexual acts for 4 years until you are legal. You need to just look in the mirror and love the person you see looking back at you. When you like yourself, boys notice that. And they will find that good and maybe ask you for a date.
Good luck girl!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 August 2011): I also suffer from S.A.D and felt almost exactly the same at your age. I wanted a boyfriend but nobody was interested in me then i moved school and met my current boyfriend of 5 years through my sister. You don't always need to act confident I'm openly shy and cant help but act like the awkward weird girl but its never really stopped guys from showing interest in me.. probably mainly because i accept the way i am because i know i cant help it so they don't see it as a huge problem or like i have something "wrong" with me. You can meet boys through friends and the best ones are always the ones who want to get to know you and try to. Try your best to be approachable to them and friendly and just speak about anything really ask them about themselves if you would rather they spoke (what music do you like? etc) until your comfortable enough to open up to them. Maybe join a few clubs at your new school and get to know more people i also advise getting a facebook as i feel like i can speak my mind a lot more freely on the internet as i don't have my awkward body language holding me back! anyway 14 is still young you have years and years for your perfect guy to find you! and don't worry guys will start showing an interest soon just remember to knock back the ones not worthy!
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