A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Don't know if I should break up with my gf of 8 months. As the relationships progressed we've moved apart, we speak less, have sex a lot less, and don't get on aswell. The thing is, I know this is expected to some degree as a relationship goes on. But i think about breaking up with her and sleeping with other women while I still can. She's had multiple sexual partners before me(about 10) so has gone out and experienced other people. I however haven't slept with anyone else, had another girlfriend or any kind of encounter with another girl beyond a meaningless conversation. I was late maturing when it came to women , only really showing interest when I came to uni. But since I've met her I feel locked down from going off and experiencing other women while I can. I can't imagine only sleeping with one person my whole life. I feel like I have to be with at least one other person or I'll regret it and always have a doubt in my mind. For this reason I feel like I'll have to break up with her sooner or later. But at the same time what if I regret breaking up with her, she's a good girlfriend?I'd say we click even though the past couple months we've been a lot less interested in each other and she does seem a little uncaring sometimes. The only difference being I may not get the opportunities to sleep around later in life. I do have strong feeling for her, and we're in a very serious relationship. But I feel like I haven't been able to explore or mature when it comes to women. I do still care about her deeply, and for quite a while we were basically inseparable. I'd never cheat on her, and I know bringing someone else into the relationship is out of the question, I don't expect her to deal with that as I wouldn't be able to either. I don't feel like I can speak to her about this as I don't want to make her feel like she's not good enough. It's just I'm jealous she's had all these encounters with other men, but I don't even know what I like about women as I've only really experienced the dating and sexual aspect of one woman. But I'm also afraid I'm throwing away what can be a good relationship for loneliness just for what i could later see as some silly reason. But I feel like at some point I'll have to experience someone else.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (27 April 2017):
 Staying with her because she is a good girlfriend is not enough. If you where happy and content you would not have the need to explore other women. So do what you need to do and end things. Be single and see what girls have to offer. Sow your wild oats. It sounds to me like you are not ready to be in a long term relationship at the moment.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2017): EDIT:
"If you can resuscitate your dying relationship; then you have to start thinking like two adults and make a decision."
Correction:
"If you can't resuscitate your dying relationship; then you have to start thinking like two adults and make a decision."
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2017): You seem to be holding on because you're afraid you won't meet anybody else. Relationships for people your age come with a built-in expiration-date. Even if you don't decide to officially breakup; the relationship fizzles out to a sputter before it just evaporates.
You don't stay with someone because you're afraid, desperate, or lazy.
If you don't interact with each other, and just remain in with each other out of force of habit; usually resentment sets in. Cheating shortly follows; because you're not holding it together for the right reasons. Both secretly wanting out; but trying to deceive each other into believing you still want to be together. Fights become more frequent; so you can find a legitimate reason to avoid each other. You start to believe you can get away with cheating by blaming it on each other.
If you can't talk to your girlfriend, then you've lost a very important element in the relationship. Communication.
If you can resuscitate your dying relationship; then you have to start thinking like two adults and make a decision.
Since she can't read your mind, and you can't read hers; talking will open up a discussion that might help you to fix what's going wrong. You're also afraid of what she might say. Avoiding communication usually forces one of the couple to dump the other without explanation. Then the one who got dumped gets obsessed with demanding closure.
Talk to your girlfriend. You've got to man-up and take a few risks. Hanging-on just for sex, which is now fading-out, is admitting defeat. You've convinced yourself you can't grow-up and move on. Then it leaves it all up to her to decide for the both of you.
She will, if you can't. Might as well talk.
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