A
female
age
41-50,
*orgia-lyn
writes:I recently had a three some with my husband.What i thought was going to be an amazing experiance for us both ended up going totally the wrong way.It was my idea.We liked it so much we did it three times.It was shortly after that when i started to get really insecure.I was thinking that every time we made love as a couple he was fatasizing about her.I brought up her name so often that he accused me of being jealous of her.Maybe i am.This woman bought so much new experiance to us,she had an amazing figure and her body could do things that mine couldn't.He says he loves me and doesn't no how he can prove it.I regret what i have done as i am now not trusting and hard to live with.How do i get over this??????I think that my marriage is ruined.This woman happens to be a very good friend of mine a co worker actually.I have no intention of telling her how i feel due to my suspisions of if i did would she try persuade him ferther.I am tired of feeling like this.I don't no why i started this mess.Please help.
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co-worker, insecure, jealous, threesome Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, ccmb  +, writes (10 December 2008):
Get over it and enjoy the 'reality' as fanatasy now!!! Talk dirty about it in slang while having coitus, make him call you by the other womens name, u call him by some other males name... fantasize as if you both are having fun in some illicit relationship....
It is fun!!!!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Well, my current fiance used to be in an open relationship with his ex....for many years and into the swinger's lifestyle....you want to know how it turned out?? She left him for another girl, which was not even pretty "buck teeth" tells you something?? Well that is the other one....
I know that the concept is to explore your fantasies and that as long as it's done as a couple...and that there is trust...bla, bla, bla....all is BS. I dont think there is a healthy relationship out there that would actually benefit from bringing a 3 person into the equation. Couple = 2 people....not 3 or 4 or more.... You can be the most loving couple there is...with the perfect life (marriage or relationship) and you are a "10" with no flaws and the self esteem of God and most than likely it will end in a bad note sooner or later.
Good luck....maybe some counseling will help you both.
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A
female
reader, @pril  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 AS ive said in other answers..Im no angel either but maybe on this one I can help.I have been the other lady.IT was before I was married and with one of my dear friends.Her husband was driving her crazy with wanting to be a swinger,open up there relationship.She had spoke with me about it many times and then one day she asked me while at a club if I would think about having a threesome.I laughed it off but she asked again the next night.She was scared and wanted it to be with someone she trusted rather than his choice of strangers.I felt for her and I did it.I felt horrible after because I realised she only wanted to take awy his desire to do this but instead it took away our friendship and trust.I removed myself from the friendship alot so she could work it out.He eventually left her for one of his coworkers and she called me.We are back to being great friends but neither of us trust the other around our guys very much now.It DOES ruin relationships.I hope it all works out love,if you ever need a chat im here.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2008): That's exactly why fantasies should be left as fantasies...something always goes wrong and people get hurt! But it has already happened and you have to try to get it out of your mind! There's nothing you can do to change what has happened.
Your husband says he loves YOU! Trust in him and believe what he tells you, unless he gives you reason not to trust him, believe in his love for you!
You are the one bringing up the other girl, not him. So, try to stop that, and just concentrate on your relationship.
I don't think you should say anything about your feelings of insecurity to the girl either. Don't include her in your personal feelings. But I don't think you should shut her out of your life either. She did nothing wrong. The three of you were willing participants!
Just do your best to go about your life as normal as possible. Show your guy how much you love him. Don't punish him for something that was your idea. Work on your insecurities and trust in your husbands love for you!
And above all, learn from your mistakes!
Good Luck!
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