A
male
age
30-35,
*rans Am Man
writes:I've asked this question before but I never get many responses so I'm trying it again.I will have a very long detailed version of this and then at the bottom I will have shorter simplified version, if you want the short version scroll to the bottom now.Ok this is the long version. I'm in love with my one of my best friends, we'll call her Candy. I hang out with her brother (we'll call him Travis) and her cousin (we'll call her Sam). The three of us hang out all the time. Every single weekend we are together. We usually go to the mall and hang out then go back to thier grandparents house where and stay the rest of the weekend. While where there we have a blast, we tell jokes, play games, all sorts of stuff. The youngest one of the group is Candy, she'll be 14 on April 8th and I think I'm in love with her. Lets back up a little bit. When I was 15 she was 12, I told her I loved her then and it was pretty clear that she didn't feel the same way. At that time I didn't really care for any of her boy friends because they just seemed like really trashy guys. Eventually I met a girl that I liked, I asked her out and she said yes. We went out for around 7 months. In that 7 months Candy and I became great friends again and we still are great friends. But I'm in love with her, she doesn't know it now, maybe that's why were such good friends. Things are definitely different now. I mean before when I liked her like this I would act different around her. Now I just act like a friend would, we make jokes with each other and stuff like that. Now she has a new boyfriend and I've never met him but I hate him already. I've seen him out before but I've never talked to him. He live right beside me and he carry's a skateboard around with him. I just know his type, and I'm really scared that she's gonna have sex with him. I saw her walking with him to his house the other day and I was getting ready to walk out the door and say something but I was interrupted by a phone call. After I got off the phone I was headed out the door to go find her but by the time I got outside she was leaving his house. I didn't say anything to her because, I want her to be happy I guess. I just wish she would realize that I really love her and would do anything to make her happy. I think we would be great together. We have a few things in common like we're the only people in our group of friends that listen to Country and Rap music, She loves my car. If I was with her I would never ask her for sex or anything like that. Here's where things get a little confusing. We share a half sister, but were not related at all. My mom was married to her dad and they had our sister. Then her dad cheated on my mom with her mom. My mom got with my dad and had me. Her dad got with her mom and had her and her brother. It's a long story. I think some people look at that and say it's incest and shit but it's not. Other people say there's too much of an age difference but it's only 3 years. If I we're 23 and she was 20 I don't think anyone would give us a second thought. Ok here's the simple version.I'm in love with one of my best friends. I told her about it almost 3 years ago and she freaked out. The feelings are coming back and I want to tell her again. What should I doAny help is appreciated.
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female
reader, kittykhaos  +, writes (11 April 2010):
 Its illegal now, The thing is no one would frown upon a 17 year old and a 20 year old (ok they might but less would be said) but a 14 year old and a 17 year old especially in the USA i just don't think it would go down to well. Im 4 years older than my boyfriend (im 25 hes 21) i was in love with him ever since he was 16 and i was 20 but i never said i word because i realised that we were on different emotional levels at that time. If its meant to happen it will but right now she's probably not even looking at guys your age as a possibility. Shes probably be scared off by her parents who would have told her that boys your age are only after one thing. I read your whole story too on the subject of the family were you introduced as relations? (heres your step sister etc.) not that you are related but a relationship between the two of you could have a huge impact on the "family"(as they see it) and maybe shes been taught to see you as an older brother. I hope you work out what to do for the best.
A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (8 April 2010):
 Trans Am Man I read the long version that was very nice of you to take the time to say thanks. I think you told her before but maybe than she did not want to complicate her life since she already had a boyfriend. Than you found yourself a new gal and she probably thought you moved on and were not into her anymore. You still have not made a move in telling her how you feel so how would she know that you still like her. You are in the friend list and you need to get out of it ASAP. Tell her how you feel and that you are in-love with her and want to see if your relationship can grow that you don't want to be just friends. Trans AM you will never know the outcome if you do not try so go for the gold!
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A
male
reader, Trans Am Man +, writes (8 April 2010):
Trans Am Man is verified as being by the original poster of the question KittyKhaos, that's very good advice but, in three years I'll be 20, she'll be 17. In America that's illegal. I'm not being a smart ass I really do like your advice. Also thank you for your advice too Raiders
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A
female
reader, kittykhaos +, writes (8 April 2010):
as sad as it is she is far to young to understand those feelings give it another three years and then maybe give it a shot..
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (7 April 2010):
You can give it a try hopefully she accepts you this time. I think you should give it a try and give it your all. I think if you bottle it up you will not get any results so I suggest that you talk to her and hopefully she can correspond to your feelings. (I read your short version but if you feel that I'm missing something email me and I'll gladly read the long version)
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