A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I'm at my wit's end right now. For the past month and a half, I thought everything was fine between my boyfriend and I but thoughts of a past crush have once again crept into my head! Here's a little history....I have asked for advice in the past about my four year relationship being on the rocks because of a crush I had re-developed on a childhood schoolmate. My boyfriend never knew about these feelings because he was and still is so good to me and I know it would tear him apart. The main issue that I have with my boyfriend is the fact that he has commitment issues when it comes to thoughts of settling down, marrying and starting a family. I think the future terrifies him yet I'm the kind of person that needs to think and plan before I make decisions in life.The advice I was given was to do my best to work things out with my bf and forget someone who I barely know as the person he is now...good stuff. BUT NOW, after a month and a half of bliss, when everything seemed to be right with us (though those commitment issues haven't been solved), thoughts of the other guy are coming back and I don't know what to do. So once again please help!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2009): You are still young. You say he has commitment issues but you obviously do too. So why not take a break? Not to 'get' with another guy though but to experience some life on your own. Since he doesn't want to commit then just be strong and tell him you want to remain friends but need some space. This will either make him realize he needs you or if he walks then you know you've done the right thing.
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