A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:ok before i ask this i want to make it clear tht i dont want ppl to tell me not to do this coz i already made up my mind, id just realy appreciate the advice :)basically me and my best guy friend have agreed to have sex, hes had sex befre but i havent so i want to know is there anyway i can make sure im clean down there n stuff? im worried he will compare me to the other girl hes slept with, not to any1 coz i know we cant tell a soul about it but i mean in his head.. and im worried i int normal down there? thanks :D x Reply to this Question
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female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (2 September 2009):
 Dear PosterI am so glad that we helped...even if it has only made you think a bit, that is still something. I apologise for assuming that you offered, but that is what your question inferred. "Messing about" can mean anything, especially if its mutual.I have known my fair share of teenage boys, and I am lucky enough to teach them as well. At that age, you give them an inch and they will take a mile. To most of them, giving them a kiss is the same as agreeing to have full on sex. To them there really is no diffrence between the two. Then they wonder why girls get upset when they try and take advantage! I think its just the way men and women have very different minds.Its just because sex is all new and exciting for them. It consumes their brains completely. Like a child in a sweetshop, they cant think about anything else. Thankfully, they do grow out of it :) and learn to appreciate it, and the girl they are with. (most of the time anyway lol)I wish you luck in finding a nice boy who really loves you and cares. The fact this guy has a girlfriend and is willing to cheat on her suggests he is a player, and that is really not the type of guy you want to be your first. Take care and keep safeTiger x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): ok, after reading all of these answers i have decided NOT to go through with it. u guys are totally right, it would make me an easy slut! i didnt even think of it that way, i just saw it as two friends muckin about. which maybe isnt such a bad thing when your at a more mature age, but its my frst time and i do want it to be with someone special. i will admit, i lust him alot and i know he does too.. and for a minute or 2 i was gonna let lust take over. but i can see its wrong. i just gota say.. he actually has a girlfriend.. thats why if we did it he couldnt say a thing. but i see that its a nasty thing to do, i know he wants to explore sex more but i can see it more clearly now how wrong it is. im so glad i wrote in. thanks guys. celtic tiger, just one correction - i didnt offer him sex, me and him have wanted to do stuff for a long time even back when he was single but we never did. he offered it to me and i said no, but then decided i was going to, hence i wrote in. but now that doesnt matter because you have made me see its not clever lol. thanks so much guys. x
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A
female
reader, Loudmouth  +, writes (1 September 2009):
No matter who it is, the boy you lose your virginity to, you will NEVER forget. And no matter what, unless you have absolutely no consciounce, you will fall in love with him. Simply because of the intimate act that you two took part in. Seriously, step back. Think about this. Sex is so passionate and I have found that the only way it is really good, is if you have passionate feelings for someone.Did you ever see crossroads with Brittney Spears? You know how awkward that was? Well, it's that times 1,000! Friends and sex don't mix.You will regret this.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): Okay... I will answer your question.First, he's human and he will compare you to other girls, might be positive might be negative and you have no control over that. Odds are he WILL discuss it with the guys, because he won't be able to keep THIS to himself... too big of an ego stroker! And you are every teenage boys fantasy (EVERY).Second, the odds are very BIG that you are COMPLETELY normal down there. So unless you have some big birth defect there's not likely to be anything wrong with your sexual organs. If you have a pussy, he'll be thrilled.Third, the odds are good that he is going to enjoy fucking you no matter your experience... it doesn't take much to give him an orgasm. He sticks it in, thrusts a few times and he's a happy guy.Fourth, it's much more likely that HE's going to be a terrible lover than that you are... doesn't take much for him to get his kicks... but it takes a lot more for him to be able to give you pleasure.Fifth, the sex is going to be shitty; it will likely hurt, you may bleed and you'll probably feel dirty afterwards. You probably won't be friends after this... it will be too awkward and he's not likely to ever look at you the same again or you him, but likely he'll be more than willing to continue fucking so long as you don't change the rules.Sixth, you're every teenage boys dream... a willing pussy, he can do whatever he wants with you and you'll think you're the problem. You get to be his porn star.Seventh, when he's done learning on you, he'll move on ... you won't be worth spit to him ... after all you didn't respect yourself enough to expect more so why would he respect you. He might pity you but he'll never love you.
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (31 August 2009):
I just want to re-make my point from my previous answer. We are only looking out for your best interests. You "both just want a bit of fun at the moment".Well that is all fine and dandy for him - he has already lost his virginity, and boys find it much easier to have no-strings sex. He will be your first, and you will look back in a few years, and wish you had waited for someone you really cared about, and were in a proper relationship with. Just be prepared for the "bit of fun" to go horribly wrong, when you get emotionally attached to him, and he moves on to another girl. With regards to your question, every woman is different. There is no right or wrong, we are all different shapes, sizes and colours. A MAN would know this, and not judge. As a teenage boy, who has probably seen too many porn films and not enough real women, he will probably have a rather blinkered view of what a girl should look like.
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A
female
reader, CupidGirl826 +, writes (31 August 2009):
Yeah, I agree with EmilyAnswers. You'd be nothing but a notch on the bed post. It doesn't matter what you're privates are like, he just knows he's getting some virgin p*ssy.Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2009): it isnt like that, me and him have been best friends for a long time (years) and we're doing this because we both just want fun at the moment. we've always had a special bond and can trust each other with anything, and i know he wont tell anyone even if we have an argument because he sort of has something going on that means he really cnt tell a single person .. its a long story but i just want the advice on the question please x
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (31 August 2009):
Well he's probably thinking you're a slut anyway, so why are you worried about how he will compare you?
You've never even let a guy finger you yet you are going to have full sex with some guy you aren't even going out with.
Read that back and tell me that sounds classy.
He's going to be thinking all kinds of horrible things about you because he's using you for sex and taking his virginity.
And yes, next time you two have a row, he WILL tell people about this.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (31 August 2009):
I know you do not want to hear this, but are you absolutely 100% sure this is they guy you want to lose your virginity to? All you are doing, to put it crudly, is using his penis to get rid of your virginity. Is that really how you want your first time to be?Because once its gone, you cant get it back.I have a couple of things I think you should think about. One that he is only your "best guy friend". He isnt your boyfriend, you haven't been dating, you have no commitment to each other, apart from being friends. So what happens after? This will change your friendship completely.Once you have sex (and you will not know this until you do) you become attached to that man. Its all down to hormones and pheramones. And the first man you have sex with, will be forever imprinted on your memory. Sex does funny things to women (I know, I am one) and turns our brains into fuzzy messes. You will become emotionally attached to him, even if you think this is going to be no-strings sex. It isnt that easy or that simple.So, once you have sex, what then? Is he going to be your boyfriend? Are you going to become "friends with benefits"? - because that is very soul destroying. How would you feel if he slept with you, took your virginity and then didnt do it again? How would you feel if he then went out with a new girl as soon as he has slept with you?How would you feel if your frienship became strained because you slept together?Would you be able to deal with this?The fact that you say "you cant tell a soul about it" suggests that this is an illicit liason. No one will know. No one will judge him, for taking your virginity and then dumping you. He can turn round, and deny ALL knowledge of it ever happening. Teenage boys are just one big lump of testosterone fulled sexual energy. They will sleep with ANYTHING giving half a chance. Of course he has agreed to sleep with you - YOU OFFERED! He wasnt going to turn that down in a hurry. You are every teenage boys dream. An easy lay. No hard work. No strings. The fact that you are worried about being compared says that you are not ready for this. Please, please, please think this through more. You have no idea how you will feel after is has happened. I would hate for you to do this and then regret it.IF you still go ahead with it, then make sure you are showered, take a bath, relax. No matter what you do, you will be nervous, and it will bear nothing to the kind of steamy sex scenes that you have seen in films. Real life just is not like that. The first time is usually a very big let down, and not everything it is cracked up to be. It may hurt, and you may bleed, so be prepared for this. FINALLY Please be safe. ALWAYS use TWO methods of contraception.
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