A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met a girl in a club few weeks ago and we hit it off really well im 25 and was surprised when this stunner started talking to me. We had a lot in common and she told me she was 19 and at uni! We exchanged numbers and then since then we have texted and called most days it all seemed to be going on great and decided to meet again. But she then dropped a bombshell that she is only 17. Although i really like her i am just wondering if its 'right' She told me she liked me and if she was 19 then i would want to have a relationship with her. What are peoples opinions about this? I know its not illegal but would it be wrong of me to go into a relationship with her?
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female
reader, lexilou +, writes (4 September 2008):
 Even though most girls mature before boys, 17 is still quite young. My daughter is 17 next year and I cant imagine what a 25 year old would have in common with her, apart from the obvious. You may find that you have different interests, that your outlook on life is that bit more mature and she will probably still be prone to stamping her feet and screaming when she doesnt get her own way (mind you I still do that occasionally and Im 40!!)
However if you really really like her then give it a go. If its not going to work you should be able to tell pretty early. Just make sure there are no more lies and that includes her telling her parents YOUR true age as they are likely to be the ones who will be upset about the age gap. 8 years isnt that huge but it depends on the ages, she may have only just turned 17 or she may be nearly 18 which doesnt sound as bad!! x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): She won't be only two-thirds of your age for ever! 8 years difference is a fair bit, but not all that excessive, especially if she's a mature 17 year old (perhaps a contradiction in terms there!) and you can hold conversations and have interests on the same level as each other. If she's well past the giggling schoolgirl phase then it all looks good to me.
She obviously wanted to get to grips with you and told a little white lie to achieve that aim. You think she's a stunner and she thinks you're the male equivalent. If there are any major problems about the age difference I think they'll show up quite quickly as you get to know each other's little foibles. The worst case scenario is that she'll think you're a boring old fuddy-duddy and you'll think she's immature. She doesn't sound it though, seeing as she made the first move!
I'd say give her a chance, after all you've got nothing to lose have you? Personally, I think I'd be quite flattered if I was in your position and give it my best shot, especially if she's a tolerable example of eye candy!
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A
female
reader, bluntasaspoon +, writes (4 September 2008):
 ahh not good. lying to someone about their age is bad. my 17 yr old brother only just found out that a girl he was seeing who first told him she was 18 then told him she was 17, and then!! he saw her birth certificate in her bedroom stating that she was only 15! he had been sleeping with her and her rents knew and were fine with it untill he asked them why they had been letting them and it turned out that she told them that they were the same age. if i were u i would try and forget this girl as she seems like a liar. sorry bout this hun but d u really want to take the chance that she could be even younger than that?
luv bluntasaspoon x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): It's sometimes frowned upon, but not illegal, in any case.
Bush-lawyering aside, this kind of relationship is, to a degree, common in North-West England.
AC
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