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female
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anonymous
writes: Could somebody please give me some advice on how to handle a situation at work, im 25 years old and have my own sense of style, recently i have noticed as well as many others an older women of about 40 is buying cheap copie of my clothes and wearing them in the same kind of fashion, when i leave my hair naturally curly instead of straigtning it, she does some funky scrunching trying to get my result, but it aint happening she looks like my big wannabe mum.!! Desperate and working in walworth.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2008): Firstly you should feel flattered. Secondly tell her straight. Could you help her find her own style?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2006): Wow you are pathetic. I am quite convinced that this woman probably is not copying you. Sounds to me you have a bloated sense of self and that you feel that you are the center of everyone's universe. I would be willing to bet you dont even register on this woman's radar.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2006): My mother used to scoff at mutton dressed up as lamb and she made me awfully self conscious when I was younger. It is even funnier when I think that because I was getting overweight I used to cover my body up in comfy Disney Shop things like Tigger's jacket etc. Anyway, a transformation has taken place. At 52 I lost 3 stones and I have no wrinkles, a 38D firm breast which is even more amazing after breastfeeding 3 kids (my eldest being a gorgeous blondee young man of 25 - I used to breast feed him in Pizza Hut - discreetly of course!)Now I have the figure I always wanted and the freedom so by the time I am 60 I want to ski, dance, get a motorbike (again), learn the keyboard and be fluent in French. Mutton, maybe, but I will never be a sheep, just a free spirit!!!!!
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female
reader, fATTYNATTY +, writes (6 October 2006):
 shouldn't you feel flaterd that some one looks up to your "so called amazing choice of clothing" i suppose you don't know your a hypercrit, going out bying all these designer clothes, which are COPIES of the catwalk ones which models wear.... ah, are you copying them??!!!!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2006): Well I have the opposite problem. I'm 40 and this young 23 year old girl is copying my style. I'm going to refer to her as a "style biter". She seems to have no sense of self or any cue as to who she really is or how to express it. She watches everything I wear and within weeks of me wearing a new outfit, trying a different fabric or color combintation. She "all over it". Colors that I have never seen her wear, she will wear if she see me wearing it. If I decide to wear 3 inch belts or a kimono top, about 2 or 3 weeks later she wearing 3 inch belts and rockin a kimono top. So frustrating. I wish this young girl would find herself and get her own self of style and stop trying to rip mine off at every turn. I'm sooo frustrated with this person, I don't know how to approach her without getting angry and really giving her a piece of my mind. I just want to scream "stop it" already!
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2006): Why care? If you so secure with yourself and believe you are THE fashion Icon, Queen B, why care?
So she likes your style and wants to emulate it...big deal. It becomes unhealthy when she starts "ACTING" like you or if she starts going after the same men you happen to like. It doesn't sound like it is going to happen.
Just relax about it. Chances are other women see it and think the same as you or just don't give a flying whirl.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2006): Isn't it interesting that this problem has had such a huge response. what with tattoos fake designer wear. i think we are dealing with a bunch of chavs and idiots that cannot spell, see ya all at Lakeside ....
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female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (1 September 2006):
 Meow
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2006): get over yourself, so did thay just put cloths in the shops with your name on them! errrr NO.I dought if a 40yr old woman would do this, u need to grow up and get a life, there is more crap goin on in this world to worry about.
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female
reader, Aunt Bunny +, writes (1 September 2006):
 yes i agree with you, this person has put up a problem so she can get advice and most of you have just ridiculed her, it is a problem for her shame on you
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): this has also happened to me in the past. it is annoying because everyone wants to be seen as an individual, everyone is different, and style is personal to each person. it not about clothes or hair or make up. its about wanting to create image for yourself. everyone is saying get a life, and there are bigger problems for other people!!! but to this person it is a problem! it shouldn't be made fun of because SOME of you find it trivial? shame on you!!( and you know who you are!!!)
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 David Lewis, you are a joker, that is soooo funny!!!!
I can sympathise because that has happened to me before and its very itritating, what can I say, I am a trendsetter!! Only kidding, but Yos is right, you kind of should be flattered because it means that she likes and admires your dress sense and in her own foolish way wants to be you. Be glad that she wants to be you, but rejoice that she isnt you because you are YOU. Take care. xXx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): girls like you make me sick. Are you the only one allowed to dress fashionably at work? i bet this woman carries herself with more class, style, and elegence that someone as shallow as you could only wish for!!! look around you love...some people dont need to dress to impress..some of us impress with our intelligence,obvoiously you dont...get a life...!!!
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Well Snowbird, I guess some people can see things differently and sometimes they dont realise how silly there problems really are in comparison, there are those that blissfully walk through life and have nothing more challenging in their lives...
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (31 August 2006):
 This is a 'big question'...why does a 25 year old have nothing more to worry about than an older lady copying her work clothes...I wish my life was this uncomplicated! The older lady is obviously smarter...at least she isn't being suckered into paying huge amounts of cash in the pursuit of ever evolving designer fashion and building an image rather than an empathetic personality.
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 I know Wendy - just that I thought it was so amusing that someone should write in with this 'problem', when there is so much trauma and real sadness going on - to me, it just beggars belief!
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): I agree with David actually, a peaceful compromise is always better than a violent and aggressive coup that could lead to physical injury, permanent paralysis, death or even worse, a bitch fight.If however you are a little too frigid to go to work naked I suggest taking up a crack addicition with a side-line business in prostitution. Note: this is NOT for your personal enjoyment but only to test to see how far this lady will go to copy your way-coolness.Maybe I've taken this a little too far now?
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (31 August 2006):
Snowbird.... There is no other header it falls into .... and each question needs to have a category...
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female
reader, snowbird +, writes (31 August 2006):
I note with interest, and not without amusement, that someone with a sense of humour has put this piece of 'agony' under the header 'BIG Question!...lol.. take a look at some of the others on this site love, and ask yourself - do you really imagine you have a life-altering problem...in fact - do you really have a life??
You are the kind of girl that assumes all the fun, fashion and 'style' belongs to the young and beautiful, and anyone who has the temerity to get old AND enjoy life too, well, (HOW very DARE they)?!? - HARRUmphhh!!!
Sorry, but this is just plain bitchy...give my regards to the other fashion victims/label-watchers- and have a nice life..even when - dare I say it...OLD - AAARRGGHH!
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male
reader, David Lewis +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Go to work naked, she will soon stop.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (31 August 2006):
I have to say I agree with Yos.. and I think you are obsessing over this, you picked up on something and made it a mountain, maybe you just dont like the woman and this somehow justifys itself to you, by saying she copies you, gives you a reason not to like her, when infact shes maybe done nothing wrong ? something along those lines. I can hardly see that shes knows how your going to wear your hair ? Just because yours is curly does not mean shes not allowed to scrunch hers does it ? Stop looking to far into it, its something and nothing and you simply dont really like her, if i had a look around the office here today, i would see lots of woman wearing very similar clothes, but i cannot remember myself what they wore yesterday in comparison to me, but i bet some had their tied back just like i did today! Just focus on your job, thats probably all she is doing.
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (31 August 2006):
 Sorry to say this, but you're being ridiculous. Get over it.
So you have your 'own sense of style'?. Right. Sure you do. I guarantee you that there's a thousand other girls out there with the same sense of style. Probably 10 thousand. A hundred thousand in the world. At least.
'Your' style is a composite of other peoples. You buy your clothes from shops, you watch TV and read magazines. The same shops, TV shows and magazines that everyone else reads. You are under the same cultural influences as everyone else. You have just as much right to take these influences and call it 'your style' as this woman has to do it. You don't own your influences, and you don't own those you influence.
And remember, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): What an absolutely terrible person this nasty, nasty fashion-copying middle-aged has-been must truly be.
I think it is your duty and right as a young, vibrant, and healthy fashion-setting individual to tell this woman exactly how desperate and despicable you find her very existence.
Don't stop at her, make an example of any one you suspect that is insulting you by their mere unworthy presence in the same room as you.
Sometimes you have to enforce your opinions by a hard line aggressive display of authority. It's the only way these losers will come to see how superior you are to them.
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDear Aunt Bunny thank you for your reply, mutton dressed as lamb my sentiments exactly
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 August 2006): maybe this older woman is craving her lost youth? perhaps you remind her of herself in her younger days. maybe she feels that she doesn't have a sense of direction when it comes to fashion. before you noticed this problem was her attire suitable to her age? maybe you should start dressing older and she could copy that!! i think you should invite her out at lunchtime and tell her how you feel. its a compliment really.
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female
reader, Aunt Bunny +, writes (31 August 2006):
dear desperate and working in walworth, I too have suffered with this problem, i think this person is trying to get your attention you didnt mention if you were friends with her or not. It is very sad when an older woman tries to carry of a younger style its a bit like mutton dreesed as lamb, but hey maybe you make her crave her lost youth, but take it as a compliment that she wants to look like your mum or maybe your bigger sister
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